We interrupt this program...

For some brief advertising. :)

Where will you be tomorrow night at 7:00 pm?

If you can't come but are interested, email standforthefamily@gmail.com and we'll get you information. 

Legs.

 Let's talk about legs for a minute, shall we?

These are my legs. I'm rather attached to them. [haha. get it? :) oh never mind.] But really, I'm quite glad that i have my legs. Because if I didn't, well, then I couldn't walk. And that would be just awful. And even worse, then I couldn't dance. Not that I dance regularly or in public. But my bedroom and I have some good dance parties every now and again. Point is, I like my legs.

On Saturday I wasn't really very nice to my legs though. Eva and I went to the gym. [Tangent: I love Gold's gym. After the library, it's probably the place I go the most by choice (I am in the TMCB more than any other followed closely by the JFSB) and a good place to find me if I turn up missing.] I did 25 minutes on the elliptical followed by 35 minutes on the treadmill. Then Eva and I decided it was a leg work out day. Instead of lifting we decided conditioning and pilates sounded like a good option. After a million lunges, squats, butt kickers, pilates, etc... we finally finished. And I felt pretty good. I went to the football game where I stood for 3 hours and walked up the hill to get back to my car after hanging out at Lyss and Dan's. 

Then I woke up on Sunday. And felt a little sore. Hmm. I thought. Then I wore heels and went to church for three hours and as I tried to climb the stairs home I could hardly walk. Ouchy I thought. But it made sense really... I had done the kind of work out we had done to condition for soccer and I sure hadn't done that for a while and even when I was doing that it used to make me sore. Okay, fine. I'll be sore for a day and then be fine. 

Wrong. Dead wrong. I woke up Monday morning and literally fell out of bed because my legs collapsed underneath me. It took me a solid 5 extra minutes to get to campus and every time I had to get out of my chair at work I wanted to cry. I was literally hobbling around like an old woman. I haven't been so sore in forever.  I called Dad and he just laughed at me. 

Today was much better. I could walk just fine and I just got back from a good workout. But lesson learned for sure: I think I'll be taking it a little easier next leg day though and transitioning into to conditioning workouts a little slower to be nice to my legs. :)

Beatific.

Life is beautiful. Literally and figuratively. There are so many pretty things that make me smile every day. These are as real as the flowers on the side of the road to as abstract as the feeling of love that comes in an answered prayer. 

I definitely felt this on Thursday. Me, my roommate Aubrey, our friend Tyler, and my two dear friends Jenni and Lauren N. all went to the temple together. I hadn't been since Kennedy and I went over the summer at home in Boise and I felt so close to home as we walked in. I love the temple for the clarity of thought that I have there. I don't get answers magically given to me but I'm able to understand and think so much better when I am there. This is one of those times when I say the things I learned are written elsewhere but suffice it to say I got a very distinct answer about things coming up in my life and I'm excited to have that decision made. 

Sometimes life is beautiful because you have beautiful friends. Friday was one of those days. My roomies and I went to get pedicures together. I really am so grateful for these girls I've been given to live with right now. They are not who I would have expected but I love everything about them. They make me laugh constantly. 

Aubrey and Tyler invited me to go with them to the BYU Choir Showcase. We didn't have tickets and just showed up at 7:25. I dropped them off and went to park and came back to find that they were sold out but at the last minute had gotten some tickets back and we could have them... for FREE. An already great concert was 10 times better for that alone. The concert was amazing. Concert Choir was a favorite this time and Men's Chorus did not disappoint. I loved it so much. 

I also got to be with Wistie who never fails to make me smile. She is just one of those people that you can trust with your silliest moment or your most important thought. How lucky are we that we don't have to try to do life all alone? 

On Saturday I would have told you that I thought life was beautiful because I had a body that let me do a hard work out and push it to the limit. Yesterday and today, I would tell you differently. I am so sore. [More about this tomorrow.] 

Life for sure was beautiful during the second half of the football game when the sun went down behind the stands and it was the perfect temperature for a fall game with friends. I was so happy to be there. Granted, it wasn't the best game. :( It really is a transitional year for BYU and it's going to take some time for them to get it together. 

Life is always beautiful on Sunday. I can't even explain what a beautiful Sunday this one was. Fasting is such an incredible way to draw closer to the Spirit and I'm so grateful for the chance to bear testimonies. Also, I love to sing. I played guitar and sang for two hours in the afternoon.

And then, I had the most beautiful Sunday afternoon. I desperately wanted to drive up the canyon but I also needed to listen to the Relief Society Broadcast. I didn't really have time for both and couldn't decide what to do. And then, technology to the rescue! I downloaded the Broadcast to my iPod and started up the canyon.

I drove up past Sundance and past Aspen Grove and started up the Alpine Loop. It was absolutely incredible. I can't even begin to describe to you the colors that you could see and how beautiful it was. Absolutely breathtaking. I was so content. I had some simple hymns playing in the background and just drove up and up.

I stopped a few miles up the canyon at the pullout big enough for several cars. [Future reference: I LOVE this place. Drive me here and I will be perfectly happy.] I stepped out of the car and walked down a path. This is what I found there. The picture doesn't even come close to doing it justice. I kept walking along the path until I came to a clearing where I could see down into the valley.                              

This is what I found. 

Again, this is not even close to how incredible it really looked. But it gives you a glimpse. It was stunning. Absolutely breathtaking.

As I came down the canyon I was listening to some music for the YW by Jenny Phillips. I cannot describe what happened to me as I drove down, but I don't think I have ever more distinctly felt the Spirit give me personal revelation. It was a beautiful feeling.

I stopped at the viewpoint at Bridal Veil Falls and turned on the broadcast. I sat there with my window open hearing the water pounding over the rocks and listening to the words of inspired leaders. I'm so glad I made that decision. I felt so close to God sitting there in the beauty of his creations listening to what his mouthpieces had to teach me. The sun finally set and I didn't want to totally kill my battery so I drove down to the temple where I parked under a streetlight to finish the broadcast. It was the perfect end to a beautiful day. [P.S. I know you are secretly jealous right now - you watched the broadcast on a church pew or on your couch and that just doesn't compete with this view. It's okay. Next year you can come with me. I fully intend to make this tradition.]

Today, I worked, went to class, dinner group [where Molly gave me a head to toe massage], fhe and out to frozen yogurt [I got mango sorbet - my FAVORITE] with Allie. It was a good day.

I titled this blog beatific. It's a GRE word. :) It means blissfully happy.

I am happy. That pretty much sums up where I'm at in life right now. I don't know if I'm doing things just the way I should. I have only vague ideas about where I am going. But holy heck. I am happy.

NOTE: If I hadn't already made it clear - The leaves up the canyon are INCREDIBLE right now. The contrast with the green was magnificent this weekend. If you haven't already gone, PLEASE take the time to drive up the canyon and enjoy the colors of fall. They will be stunning for probably another week and okay for another after that. Just do it. It will be worth it.

Days go by...

Classic old country song: 

"And days go by...

I can feel 'em flyin'
Like a hand out the window in the wind.
The cars go by...
Yeah it's all we've been given,
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by..."

That's how I feel right now. My days are just flying by. It's only a week and a half until October which means only a little longer until my birthday. I only have a week until my first midterm. And then it's all down hill. My October planner pages are already filling up. 

But. Even though my days are flying by, I'm happy with them. I'm trying to live each day for all it is worth. And because of that - Life is good. Simple as that. 

So what have I been doing the past few weeks?

I've been walking to and from school. 

It's over a mile to school so I spend about and hour walking everyday. I love my walks. Mt. Timpanogas is my favorite. I think it was God's way of telling BYU students that even though they have to be in Provo, it's okay, life is beautiful. 

I've been getting ready for my day and getting ready for bed.

I love getting ready in the morning. It is a new start and a lot how my day goes is based on how I feel about myself which is definitely related to how pretty I feel. (vain? maybe. but true.) However, I HATE getting ready for bed. It takes so much time when I am sleepy and it seems so counterproductive to take off my makeup. 

I've been hanging out with my sister!

Megan had a disappointing weekend and so she came up to hang out with me! (She got kicked off a Red Rock Relay team - it's okay - we are running it next year). We went to Cafe Rio and Spoon it Up and watched Knight and Day (note to the boys sitting in front of us at the dollar theatre - if you wanted girls to sit with you it might be a good idea to stop going on man dates and try asking girls out - just sayin). Saturday we went to the gym, did homework and shopping with Eva, went to Los Hermanos, went mini golfing, did DDR (favorite), and went to Spoon it Up again (yes it is that good). We went to hang out with Heather and ended up watching Mulan with 20 plus people in one apartment who all sang ALL of the songs out loud. I love BYU so much. 

I spent a Sunday at the Marriott Center.

Kennedy picked me up early Sunday morning on her scooter and we rode over. It was slightly interesting in our dresses but it was wonderful afterwards. It was a beautiful afternoon and we didn't want to wait to turn right on 9th so we drove up to the temple and caught up for a couple hours. Kennedy is such a good friend and has been able to talk with some really good things with me lately. We are in somewhat similar places and I can trust her to understand what I have to say. I really appreciate her. We sat outside for just long enough that I sunburned my neck which you can see in the second picture with Heather at the CES fireside. I have notes from all those meetings elsewhere but two things are worth writing down. Sister Beck explained that "We are doing better than we think we are but there is more we can do." I loved that for so many reasons. And Elder Scott at the fireside said that he thought movie dates for singles trying to get to know eachother was a straight up "Stupid" idea. It was fantastic. 

I've been hanging out with my parents. 

My parents came down to visit my sister and I and to bring down things that we needed. This also meant getting my car back! Oh, how I missed her. My parents helped with a lot of various projects including painting our desk that was pink and had a fish and was UGLY. But my dad decided he wanted to paint the floor and wall too. :) They also gave me grocery money and took me to Cafe Rio. I love my parents. I'm actually really missing my family. I miss hugs and teasing and talking and just being with them. 

I've been working, doing homework and doing things for Stand for the Family. 

I don't actually have a picture for this one. But believe me. These three are probably the three biggest in my life. They take a lot of time and energy. 

I've been to Ward Prayer. 

Again, I don't have a picture. But this story is so ridiculous that I have to share. My ward prayer is sponsoring dates. Meaning: they put boys names in a jar and girls names in a jar. Each week they pick out one of each and give them 10 dollars to go on a date. The next week they return and report. Goal: Eternal marriage. Now, this is one of those things you here about happening at BYU but never believe actually would. But it really truly is. 

I've been studying for and taking the GRE.

This is not a good picture by any means. But it shows just how wonderful of friends I have. This was on Thursday night just before I took the GRE. I had just gotten back from campus where Patrick had walked me through the logistics of the GRE, helped me with some math concepts and reviewed flashcards with me. When I got home I had happy notes and yummy treats from Eva and Heather waiting for me on my bed. And the next morning I went to Dan and Alyssa's apartment where Dan gave me a priesthood blessing. I had total breakdown on Thursday. I was stressed out, tired. I'd forgotten two homework assignments and was trying to study for the GRE. I had a good cry in my room. Then I kept working. I went to yoga. (always the right answer). And then I had help from my friends. I really couldn't have done it with out them. So, a public thank you to Patrick, Eva, Heather, Dan and Lyss. Truly, you are the best. Plus, thank you to about ten other people who sent me luck and prayers. It ended up going well. I didn't rock it but I didn't fail it and it should be a good enough score to get me into the grad schools I'd want to go to. Which is all that I could ask for. 

I've been hanging out with my new friends. 

This is at Denny's sometime after midnight. It was Tayte's birthday so we had to go celebrate! Prior to this we had made Chicago style deep dish pizza, watched a movie (that I got way into and was yelling to the TV about) and gone hot tubbing. It was a fantastic night and so fun. I really enjoy my roommates. We are all silly and get along quite well. And these boys are so fun for us. They are all quite quirky and just make us laugh.

So in summary: I've been busy. Days are flying by quickly. But life is great. 

Squiggle

During sophomore year, Heather and I realized that every time we talked about stress we got more stressed. In trying to make it better by talking about how stressed we were we actually ended up making it worse. So we came up with a plan to stop saying the word stress. We replaced it with the word squiggle. Anytime we were stressed we would say we were squiggled. Not only did it make it so that we didn't say the word stress but it replaced it with a funny word so we would laugh and feel better. It was a great plan. I don't know why we ever stopped. I'm a little squiggled right now. My GRE starts in 38 hours. This is what my bed looks like right now. I've been making and memorizing flashcards for the past two weeks. My head can't fit very many more words inside. :( 

I decided to be more like this little girl to help lower my squiggle before I go into this test.



This little girl knows how to have good self talk.

First, count your blessings.

I like my roommates.
I like my sister.
I like my parents.
I like my brothers.
I like my cousins.
I like my family.
I like my friends.
I like my school.
I like my ward.
I like my car.
I like my hair.
I like my clothes.
I like my job.
I like my everything.

And then, remind yourself how awesome you are.

I can do anything good!

That's my mantra for the next 42 hours until I finish this dang thing.
I can do anything good! 


P.S. Once I finish I promise a real post full of pictures and stories of all the things I have been busy with besides the GRE.

True Story

True Story: Today I spent an hour at work watching my boss learn how to use the light switches in our new conference room and helped her decide how to label them so that absent-minded professors will be able to use them. I got paid 10 dollars for this.

True Story: I took an iClicker quiz today in which the correct answers were not even listed. My professor told us that we'd get credit for them and he'll put them on our real quiz again tomorrow. Free points. :) 

True Story: I was walking down the hall in the JKB when I caught a whiff of an incredible smelling man. I was inhaling deeply and thinking about how to put a comment about how wonderful men can smell on my blog when out of the blue someone straight up punched me. It was Jord. :)

True Story: I watched a movie in Hebrew (with English subtitles) for part of my Religion in the Home class today. Judaism is fascinating. The movie was called Ushpizin. It was really good. And entirely kosher. (Seriously. It was filmed about a real Isreali community of Jews and to agree they required that the movie be made following all their rules and practices.)

True Story: Jesus Christ is our Savior. He suffered for our sins so that we could repent of them and be forgiven. This is part of God's plan for each of us as his children. This is called the Plan of Happiness. And for a good reason. The Gospel of Jesus Christ brings so much joy into my life that I just want to dance and sing.

True Story: I came home from campus to a full turkey dinner (turkey, stuffing, potatoes, corn) on a plate waiting in my fridge for me. Joining dinner group is quite possibly the best decision I have made in the past two weeks.

True Story: Reading Pride and Prejudice with a dictionary next to me is a good way to trick myself study for the GRE. Capricious means impulsiveness or to change ones mind on a whim, Austere means stern or strict, Eclectic means from varied sources, Implacable means unappeasable or unflexible. See, I'm getting it. 

True Story: I forgot to take a picture today. I was busy running from work to class to class to class with busy breaks in between and places to go after my last class. So here are some pictures taken with my Mac of my cute cute (and silly, strange) face. 

True Story: Today was a GREAT day. Life is good. I couldn't be happier. 

Namaste

Today I spent 6 straight hours in library. You say, it's only the second week of school. Why are you spending absurd amounts of time at a desk already?


Well, my friends, I only have 10 days until I take the GRE. And my score on the GRE matters a great deal to what happens to my future. My GPA is decent. My outside experiences are good. But if I fail this I can say goodbye to grad school or at least for sure to any scholarship style financial aid.

So I took a full length practice test today and then began the process of studying all the math concepts I have forgotten since I was junior in high school and learning insane amounts of never-to-be-used-again vocabulary words. Remember the Pythagorean theroem? You know the one about triangles. Turns out it's kinda important.

The hard part wasn't all the studying though. It was that I was freezing cold. I'd been chilled all morning at work. My little bat cave of an office would NOT warm up and then I went straight into the library where apparently they think it's necessary to keep the A/C running full time. I sent out a suggestion on facebook that it would make my day if someone wanted to bring me a sweater (I wasn't going to walk home and back just for a sweater and I knew if I left I wouldn't get anything accomplished). To my surprise and happiness and gratitude, Patrick called a few hours later to ask if I still needed a sweater. He brought me not one but TWO jackets just a bit later. It really did make my day and made all the difference in the world. I could stay another 2 1/2 hours without becoming a human ice cube. So thank yous to Patrick (in whatever form suits you - gold stars, cookies, etc.)

I got home at 7:45 to grab something to eat and sat down with my planner and got into one of my stressing moods. I had one, two, square root of three running through my head along with words like jejune and then I started to worry about all the things I needed to get done this week and how I was to do them. I ran to the gym and did a hard elliptical work out and then went to the yoga class.

Within just a few minutes of breathing my mind was clearing and as I worked through the class all the things that had been filling my mind had moved on. I was left with just me, my body, my breath. I love yoga for that. My favorite part of yoga is the savasana at the end - total relaxation.

Yoga ends with "namaste" which means the divine light in me recognizes the divine light in you. As I left class today I thought about that. My mind had cleared and all that was left was that simple word. There is a divine light in me as a daughter of God and I need to and should recognized that divine light in others around me.

I don't even remember what I was worrying about. I'm working hard on things I need to do and that's all I can do. The things I need to get done will get accomplished if I do my best. Instead of being stressed, now my thoughts are turned to others. How can I recognize the divine light in the people around me? Do I help to bring out that light in the people I am with?

"Namaste." The perfect end to a long day.

Labor Day Weekend

What a great weekend!

I don't have classes on Fridays so after work my weekends are ready to start! I met Lauren and Heather for lunch and to catch up. It was so lovely to see Lauren again and Heather had some fantastic stories she told. I've been blessed with wonderful friends in my BYU experience.

I had a paper due Friday so I spent my afternoon working on that. Our assignment was to visit the Education in Zion exhibit and then write a paper reflecting on our experience. I thought it was a rather silly assignment and didn't think too much of it but I ended up having a really special experience.

Here is the paper I wrote:

I have spent a great deal of time in the Joseph F. Smith Building (JFSB) at the Education in Zion exhibit. I love the sunshine and so studying next to the big windows has always been a favorite of mine. From the windows in the JFSB you can clearly see “Y” mountain. The mountains have given me a sense of peace during times when I felt discouraged or lonely. Because of this, I have always been drawn to a large painting of the early Brigham Young Academy buildings with the mountains. Just as I have many times before, I started my visit there. But today’s visit was not like any other before. I didn’t turn away to a stack of textbooks. Instead, I walked and sat and thought about what a privilege it has been for me to attend school here at BYU.

I turned away from the painting and found a quote on the wall by Karl G. Maeser that stated “Be yourself but always your best self.” I loved that quote. I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am and can be and that really stood out to me as a powerful reminder that whoever I am is good enough as long as I do it at my best. As I followed the exhibit around I found stories and quotes that touched my heart. Delbert Brigham Brown, Susa Young Gates, and Edwin S. Hinckley all led beautiful lives and I was really impressed by their sacrifices and examples.

Finally, I found myself in a back room. It was quiet and no one else was around. It was darker and peaceful. I found pictures and stories of love, service, honor, work and sacrifice: everything that my BYU experience has come to symbolize for me. As I read other’s experiences I was reminded of many of my own that were so similar. On the wall were the words “An Education for Eternity” and underneath it talked about the opportunities our education gives us to blend our talents, intellect, spirituality and integrity. I sat there in the stillness, reflecting on the fullness of an education that I have gained in the past three years. My grades show a great deal of learning but only Heavenly Father and I truly understand how much I have gained. I have grown and changed not only academically, but spiritually, physically, and socially.

The wall described the time at the university as “a brief, precious season.” As I sat there alone I really was overwhelmed by that phrase. This is my senior year. My time at BYU is coming to an end. I want to use the time I have remaining to its fullest and truly get all I can from my time here. This will mean not stressing over small things and being aware of the people in my life. Most of all, I will have to slow down and recognize the value of each of the experiences I am having.

I went home to do my laundry and ended up having quite an experience. Our machines will only take a card but not like your debit card - like a phone card that you put money on. I didn't have any cash so I walked down to the ATM and got out a 20. I put in my 20 and it said insert 5 to get new card. I was like um. okay. but where's my 20? I ran and found my new friend Molly (none of my roommates were home) who had a card. We tried to stick that in and put the 20 on that but no luck. Another resident helped us find the number to call the company who told me "the machine simply would not do that." I understand it shouldn't but it did. They agreed to come look at it on Tuesday and do an audit.

After I finally got my laundry done I went out with Brittney (Heather's sister) and some of her friends to the back to school dance. I had so much fun. I hadn't danced in forever and I missed it. I love dancing. I'm not good at it. I probably look ridiculous actually. But there is nothing like screaming a good song at the top of your lungs while jumping up and down with your hands in the air. The only bad part was that I didn't really think through what we were doing and I wore a pair of capris that are way too big and by the end of the night they were literally falling off. Oh well.

Saturday morning I had a Stand for the Family meeting (if you want to get involved and you know you do - let me know). We're so close to getting started with our year. Then the gym, a shower. And then a forty minute walk to...

... the football game!  Half time was a highlight. Lavell Edwards was there with all eight of his quarterbacks  along with Elder Holland and Pres. Samuelson. They were presenting over a million dollars to the university for scholarship funds. It was so cool to get to cheer for Elder Holland -that's never happened before. It was a great game too. The Cougars won but it a game that had us yelling and cheering from start to finish. Love it. There is nothing like a good fall football game. I love football because I get to call my Dad and talk about the season. I'm so glad we can share that.

After the game we had a surprise birthday party for Brittney. It was so fun! I love parties and we played some awesome games. Animal sounds, smurf. I love Provo kids.

Sunday was a wonderful day. We had great church meetings (although Gospel Doctrine was interesting) filled with the spirit. Something someone said in their testimony that I really liked was "make plans and allow the Lord to change them." That's something I really want to do in my life. After church Aubrey and I took a LOVELY two hour nap. There is nothing like a good Sunday afternoon nap. We had break the fast and then came back to the apartment and made cookies together. With every roommate I've had there comes a point when you stop just being roommates and start being friends. With some it's just happened and with others I can pinpoint it. Last night was definitely that time for Aubrey and I. We were able to share a lot of things about ourselves and have a really good talk. I didn't actually take a picture because it was dark but we sat out here on our back porch in the cool night and I was just filled with love for this girl. I know that moving to Roman Gardens was the right decision for me from many confirmations and last night was another one of those. I firmly believe that things don't happen by chance or accident if you are listening to the Spirit and making decisions based upon that. We're going to have a great year - we don't like rice, we do like peanut butter, etc, etc.

This morning I slept in, went to the gym and then spent the day at the library. My brain hurts. I studied forever long. Tonight I part studied, part watched the BSU game. Toward the end of the game I had to put down my computer for fear of throwing it because I was so nervous. My roommates were laughing at me because I was yelling at the TV. It was just SUCH a good game. Awesome job to BSU for playing under pressure and finishing a good game.

Finally, for today's picture.

Meet my planner. This is my sanity. Without it I am lost. I plan everything based on my planner. All my scheduling and to-do lists are in it. My grocery lists and church notes. Random other things. I love it with all my heart. Plus it's yellow. So it makes me happy every time I see it.

If you don't have a planner you should get one. It will make your life better. And you should get it in a color that will make you smile. That way you are more organized AND happier. :)

Meet Aubrey

My new roommate is Aubrey. I like her a lot.
Why?

She knows where Caldwell is. She is studying nursing. She is tidy. She has a lovely sarcastic touch and a great sense of humor. She makes me laugh a lot. She goes to bed at the same time I do. She doesn't have an early class so I can have the bathroom to myself. She sings to herself constantly. She sleeps with her baby blanket. She has the cutest heels ever. And she bought us a lava lamp for our room.

Aubrey is also my hero.
Why?

[Note: the following story is slightly gross and the picture is pretty much disgusting - skip as desired]

Once upon a time we moved into a new apartment. However, the apartment was not actually new, just new to us and it showed its age. It was somewhat dirty and falling apart but gradually we cleaned it up and put things away and found it quite functional. Right after moving in we noticed that the shower door did not shut. This was obnoxious but if the head was turned away from the door it should be okay. And it was.

We began our showers but found to our dismay that the drain did not work. The bottom of the shower would fill and take more than an hour to empty after finishing. Now it was kind of nice to have a timer in the shower - well the water is about to flow out the door, guess I'm done - but in all reality it was kinda gross to have the water floating around your ankles and super obnoxious when trying to shave. Plus it was dangerous because razors ended up floating around during your shower.

So we decided we needed to do something. Knowing these were girls apartments we figured that it had some hair in it and draino probably wouldn't be of any use, we'd probably need to actually get the hair out. Last night Aubrey decided it was time and unbent a hanger and started fishing around.

This is what she found:

Yes, my friends, that is hair. 

Aubrey pulled at least 6 of the same size pieces out of our shower - each smellier and slimyer than the last. It took all we had to keep our gag reflexes in check and I literally ran the bag of it out to the dumpster.

That is why Aubrey is my hero. She took on the drain and did not stop when it was nasty and smelly and dripping gross goo. She won.


In other news:

I really do not do well with feeling sick. This is not new to me. I've known for a while that when I am sick, I get scared and lonely. I have a hard time with it. What I've really started to understand recently is that when I feel physically yucky at all - be it a stomachache, a cramp, sore feet, achy muscles, whatever - my emotional and mental state is very much affected. I feel overwhelmed by little things and get frustrated with myself very easily. For example, today I just didn't feel great. My body is trying to get used to school and I've been hard on it. I moved to the third floor, started walking more than 2 miles to and from school each day, started going regularly to the gym again, started using my brain again, am only sleeping 7 hours instead of 9 or 10 from summer and am on a new mattress. That's a lot to take in. I was just feeling yucky today - almost out of sync. Not really sick but if you'd asked me I wouldn't have said good. But the thing was I didn't notice that I felt sick until the afternoon. And all morning I'd been having such a hard time being positive. I was discouraged and stressed. Over what? I really don't know. Because then this evening when I felt physically good - I really could think of a single thing to be frustrated about. Oh I definitely still have things on my mind but life is good. Things are plugging away. I really think that my mental state is directly tied to my physical state but often when my physical state is lacking it is not enough to be noticed or recognized and so consequently I feel worried and concerned over things that really are going to be just fine.

These are my feet. They are cute huh? Heather's and my pedicure last week turned out quite nicely. But today they hurt. Yesterday I wore new shoes for the whole day and I ended up with blisters on my baby toes. :( It's more than a mile from my apartment to work and then more than a mile back each day. Ouch. And then I helped Casey and Drew move into their new apartment today and so they are tired and worn out on top of that. You may offer sympathy now. Or if you are my mother you may instead offer a lecture about how you don't feel sorry for me because it's my own fault for wearing new shoes for so much walking.

I hate the beginning of semesters because I always feel like I know things but then every teacher teaches it a little different and every book goes into different detail and I end up in trouble because I skim the readings because they are boring. How many times do I have to be told that carbohydrates can be classified as mono, di, and polysaccharides? Really. I got that. Or how many times do we have to do the scientific method? Promise we learned that one already. Seriously. And don't get me started on SFL classes and starting with research and theories. We took your class that covered the theories. Gah. But inevitably the first week is repetitive and I get lazy and get into bad habits that follow me through the rest of the semester. I'm really trying this time though. We'll see how it goes.

I love my 465 (MFT) class. The professor is hilarious. We laughed for the whole 2 hours. Example: We were reading through the syllabus and he was talking about acceptable reasons to miss class. He said "Well, dying is okay. But in that case I guess it won't matter and I'll just give you an A. But if someone important to you dies you can miss. Or if you get married... or if you are having a baby.... ... But. Making babies is not an okay reason to miss class." Seriously. The time just flew because he was so fun to listen to. Not only am I thrilled about the subject but am thoroughly excited to have him as a professor. Plus it turns out that I know lots of people in the class including Carly! It's shaping up to be a great school year.

Forgive

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

Lately I've been thinking about what it means to forgive. I've had someone that I knew I needed to forgive but didn't really know exactly what that would mean. I think this definition encompasses it. To forgive is to stop the angry feelings. Simple as that. It doesn't give a reason. You don't have to have a one. You just do it.

And then I found this talk which was the other part of what I needed to learn right now: "Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God’s love in our hearts." - Elder David Sorenson

Forgiveness is moving on. It is how we let go of things in our past and move forward to the beautiful things in our future. I love that. So tonight I'm forgiving. I am will stop feeling anger and resentment and focus on the future instead.

Wednesday

I love Wednesdays. I always feel like I got over the hump in my week and that it's downhill for the rest. My stress level goes down. I get more excited for the weekend. Today was no exception for a good Wednesday. I had my first research meeting and am so excited about our project. I got to see a cute kid from home - a new freshman - who walked me to my class.  I was prepared for my classes and found old friends in two of them. It's always so much better to take a class with a friend. I got to spend some time with an old friend and got to spend some time thinking. I got to do some reading and I had a fun conversation on the phone with Megan and Mom [we figured out three way calling!]

And... for my picture of the day - my sports nutrition teacher let us watch the press conference today where BYU announced that they will now be joining the West Coast Conference in all sports except football who will now be independent. We are pretty serious about football around here [speaking of - guess who has row 13 seats for the season? :)] and my teacher is no exception to that. Last year a lot of teachers watched playoffs for basketball in their classes. We don't like to miss anything related to our Cougar sports. It'll be pretty exciting to see how everything works out.