It's Been Awhile

Well, it’s been quite a long time since I sat down to write anything. I won’t make excuses or try to explain. I just simply haven’t made time since I got back.

I left the London Centre at 3:00 in the morning on Monday the 15^th. I slept about an hour. I was up for a while doing some last minute blogging and packing and then when I finally laid down I couldn’t fall asleep. I was so anxious. I think I was worried that my alarm wasn’t going to go off to wake me up. So I tossed around for a little while and then finally just got out of bed. I took all of my bedding down to the laundry and carried my suitcases down to the door. Then I sat by the phone and waited. Because I was going to be paying with cash the company required they be able to call me when they arrived. So I had to give them the pay phone number and then just sit and wait. Right at 3:00 the phone rang. It took about half an hour and 55 pounds to get me to the airport. I was expecting it to take much longer. I forgot that the traffic we had during the day coming in wasn’t going to be in the way and so it took much less time. So I was plenty early. I got to the airport and found it completely dead. Absolutely empty. Almost eerily so. Nobody was at any of the ticket desks at all. So I plopped myself down on the floor to wait. A little over an hour later people started actually getting in line by the different counters. So I joined in. I was standing by a nice looking lady. We both looked at each other and kinda sighed because it was rather obnoxious to be waiting. You are supposed to check-in for international flights two hours early but no one was there to check us in! She asked me where I was traveling to and I told her my final destination was Boise, Idaho. To my surprise that was where she was going to! She lives in Boise and works as a writer for one of the local papers. We started talking and she even knew one of my high school teachers! She ended up having all of the same connections that I did and it ended up being really nice to have a friendly face and someone to have a conversation with. Definitely a tender mercy for the day. The airport finally came to life around 5:00 and I got checked in. But then when it came to check my bags I almost had a problem. My itinerary was showing up as only being to Amsterdam and for European flights you are only allowed one twenty kilo bag. I of course was actually traveling internationally and so had two huge bags. The lady that helped me was really nice and got it all fixed and printed me my second boarding pass as well. Then just a hop of a flight to Amsterdam. I said goodbye to beautiful England one last time and then fell asleep.

Amsterdam airport was well, an airport. Follow the signs and you can’t go wrong really. It was different in that security was at each individual gate and so I had to go through that again. But overall it was simple. Then I was in the air again for my huge flight. I flew from Amsterdam to Portland. It was a 10 and ½ hour flight (although with the time change on paper it was only 1 ½ hours). It was soooo long. Honestly I used to think that flying was SO cool, SO much fun. I’m done with it now. When you get two meals on a flight you know that you have been flying for WAY too long. Even though it was plenty long, I actually rather enjoyed it. I had bought Peter Pan to watch on my ipod and I also bought the book while in London. I am officially obsessed with all things Peter Pan. I love it. Reading it was so much fun to me. Peter Pan was actually originally introduced in a story called Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens and Peter Pan and Wendy is the second story. I loved reading about Kensington Gardens because I could picture exactly where he is describing and there are quotes that are perfect for what I experienced there. And the magic of his story is almost better when it is up to your head to do the imagining. I love it. SO much. I also spent time writing notes to friends and then a lot of time just listening to music and/or just thinking. I think I value time to just think a lot more than I used to. Customs in Portland was a breeze. I had been all worried about it because everyone always talks about nightmare experiences they have but honestly I didn’t have a problem at all. I just showed my passport and landing card, told them why I was there and with a smile I was through. Easy as that. Then I got my last boarding pass and waited. I got to call and say hi to my mom. It was rather weird to have my phone back. I had kinda missed it to be honest. I mean it was really nice to not be tied to anything for so long but I love how easily my phone lets me communicate with everyone. Then one more jump of a flight and I was home. Scott and Jodi picked me up with the kids and I got lots and lots of hugs. In fact, Kimber Jo just snuggled with me the whole way home. My grandparents came out to meet me when we got back and then came the little boys and my dad was back from work just a little bit later. I was so happy to be home. Missing London for sure. But happy to be back. With the time change, it had been exactly 24 hours since I left the London Centre, such a long day of traveling.

Tuesday I just spent at home. My mom and Megan were in D.C. and NY for a History Day competition and so I was on my own to take care of the kids and get everything ready to go again. I ran an errand mid day but most of it was just spent doing laundry and pickup and getting hugs. We did of course stop by the sno cone shack and I got my grape sno cone! Summer has officially begun. Although you wouldn’t know it was summer based on the weather. It rained a lot of the day which doesn’t happen in Idaho in June.

Wednesday I spent the morning packing and then was on the road about 12:30 which put me in Provo about 7:00. For the first time I actually really enjoyed driving by myself. Normally I go crazy just sitting. But I was rather happy just thinking. But at the same time I was SOOOO excited to see my roommates!!!! I had been frustrated with how little they had written/talked to me over Spring term but I couldn’t hold onto any of that frustration as soon as I saw them. HUGE hugs and the happiest smiles. Oh I missed them. I realized that I really had only been half home in Caldwell because honestly my home is half here in Provo right now. Home is where people who love you are and I sure feel that down here. We left just after 8:00 to go to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House. It was so amazing. A couple of thoughts: I LOVE THE TEMPLE. So much. I love its beauty and that much of its beauty is so simple. I love the feeling inside the temple. There is a peace that cannot be found anywhere else. This temple felt almost like a home inside which I really loved. I love the art that is chosen for the walls. I love the sealing room. They brought us in and stopped to talk to us for a few minutes and while they were talking to us I couldn’t help but think about how much I want to be ready to be married inside the temple someday. That is all that I want. My greatest desire is to be sealed to a young man inside the temple so that we can have an eternal family. The last room to visit was the Bride’s room. I think I will truly feel like a princess when the time comes for me to be there. I was so happy to be there. I was with Eva and Lyss and Austin and one of the new friends the girls have made, a boy named Ryan. It was such a lovely experience. By the time we came out it was POURING. But Austin pulled his car up and we didn’t get too wet. Ryan hadn’t eaten so we stopped by Wal-mart to get some food and then went back to Austin’s house to eat and talk. I was so happy all night. I don’t think you could’ve taken the smile off of my face if you tried. Quote from the night: I said, “My happy thoughts are mail.” What Austin and Eva heard, “My happy thoughts are male.” Ha. :)

Thursday was a rather unproductive day but was a happy day nonetheless. I slept in late (the first time all week I had managed to sleep past sunrise). I helped with some random moving things that people were doing and talked with Lyss some. I went to lunch at J-Dawgs with Eva and Jessica and of course dumped ketchup and mustard all down my shirt. Yes, you can laugh at me. I laughed at myself. I spent the afternoon with Eva, we walked up to campus on an errand for Lyss and did a couple other random things. Heather got locked out and so she needed a ride to go get a key to her apartment. I drove her and was so happy I did because it gave us a chance to talk for the first time in a long time. I hadn’t heard anything about her boyfriend or really about her Spring term at all. So she told me the stories and we talked and laughed just like normal. I was really glad we got the chance to be apart for Spring. Not because I like being away from her but because I think we both learned and grew a lot and are both ready for fall to hold different experiences than it has before. I’m so grateful for Heather. She has blessed my life so many ways and so many times. I love having her as a friend and roommate. Thursday was also Jordan’s birthday so Austin invited us up to South Jordan to celebrate. Heather was going to be with Christian for the evening and Eva and Lyss were planning on leaving for Wyoming but I drove up by myself. It was so much fun to be with the boys again (although it wasn’t the same without Patrick) and to see Jordan with his family. I had a really fun night. Heather and I slept on the couches and she left at 4:00 in the morning to go home to Michigan for the summer. Eva and Lyss had been busy and so didn’t get to leave until early in the morning.

Friday I got up and got ready for the day, worked on lists and planned out some of the things I needed to do over the next little while. Then I drove up to campus and Sean and I had lunch together. It was so great to see him. Seriously I was blessed with the coolest friends last year. Our ward brought some of the most amazing people into my life. We had some really good conversations and I was so glad he was patient with me (he’d been trying to get together since Wednesday and I hadn’t done my part). Then I went straight out to do some shopping. Allie’s wedding was purple and she wanted the bridesmaids to be wearing light (lavenderish) purple but the best I had been able to do was a blouse and so I went looking for a dress. I didn’t find a lavender but I did find a dark dress with a lighter coverup and so I bought it and decided I would let Allie choose what she wanted me to wear and I would return whichever I didn’t use. I also had stops at Victoria’s Secret and Target for gifts. Then I went home and packed for the evening and ended up falling asleep. I woke up just in time to go pick up the things we needed for a bazookie and get to Allie’s for the bachlorette party! We went out to dinner at Mimi’s Café and then went back to Allie’s for presents. Most of the evening we just spent helping her get ready for the next day and pack for her honeymoon. We ate the bazookie (yummy!) and then went to sleep around 12:30.

We were up at 6:00 to help Allie get ready. She did her hair and makeup and finished throwing together the last few things she needed. She left with her parents at 7:30. Amanda and I got ourselves ready then and were ready to go just after 8:30. We stopped by my apartment to pick up an umbrella and then went to White Willow (the reception center) to pick up the flowers. We were supposed to be able to pickup the flowers by 9:30 which was just barely going to be enough time to get us and them to the Timpanogos temple by 10:00 (which was about when they would be coming out). No one was there but we were early so we just sat down to wait. But by about 9:25 when there still wasn’t anyone there we were starting to freak out. We were calling every couple of minutes but no one was answering. This is the kind of thing that happens in nightmares but not in reality! We were starting to formulate a plan to buy lilies on our way and make a bouquet for Allie and a boutonnière for John when someone answered. She was surprised that we were waiting, said that she hadn’t gotten that message and said that she would send someone over. There was a girl who lived a couple doors down who came running over in pajamas. We left Provo at 9:50. We did not make it in time to see them walk out of the doors. But we were close. Because my mom reads this I won’t tell you how fast or how illegally I drove but I dropped Amanda off with the flowers at 10:05. That may or may not be a record. Also, for the record, I don’t usually drive quite like that. But for the morning I was a bridesmaid on a mission. The weather ended up working out perfectly because it wasn’t raining while they came out but started to pour just after. But we had all of the group shots to take and Timp has some gorgeous covered archways that the photographer used and it didn’t make a difference at all. Then just as we finished the group pictures the rain cleared out and Allie and John got to go take their pictures all over the grounds. We followed along after with all of the bags and umbrellas. It was fun. I really like Amber and I hope we get to spend some more time together. Right at the end the wind picked up and it started to rain again but all that was left was the ring and shoe pictures so it didn’t matter that we were back under the arches. Here are a couple pictures from Amber and from John's Mom.






Amanda and I stopped for gas on the way home and also stopped in Wyview to pick up some cans to tie to the back of their car. We stopped back at the apartment and to our surprise found Allie and John just sitting on the couch watching the office waiting for the luncheon. I don’t really know exactly where I expected them to be but it sure wasn’t there. The luncheon was lovely. The flowers had almost been a disaster that morning but White Willow did a very good job with everything else. It looked fantastic. There were the toasts of course which were sweet. John sang to Allie which was probably my favorite part. They cut the cake and shoved in each other’s faces. While they were serving cake we went outside and made the car look a little bit better. :) And got soaked while doing it. I am pretty sure that it has rained more here in the week that I have been home than in the entire time that I was in London. We came back in and watched them dance, and dance with their parents. So sweet. Then the bouquet toss [which I did not catch :D] and the garter toss. And then goodbyes. We blew bubbles and let balloons go and they got in the car. But they didn’t quite make it anywhere because John’s brother was hiding in the backseat. :) It was pretty funny. Then some hugs and we were off. Having it at White Willow was pretty nice because it meant that we didn’t have to do any of the clean up. I came home and packed up some random stuff and then drove myself up to Grandpa’s house in Logan. Uncle Nathan was there too and it was SO happy to see them. I love my family SO much.

I slept forever and then spent the morning just with Grandpa and Nathan hanging out. I went to Sacrament meeting with Marianne and her boys and then came back up and fell asleep while I was waiting for Mom to arrive. She had just dropped Megan off at an auditioned Opera Camp for the week in Pocatello and then came down with the boys. It was funny to me how much I wasn’t missing her. That probably sounds bad. I just was back to feeling like I was at school and it was normal to not be with her and so while I was excited to see her it wasn’t the same desperate need I’d been feeling sometimes in London. We had a big family dinner and then spent the afternoon just talking and playing. Grandpa got a tetherball pole and so we went outside and played that which was a lot of fun. I hadn’t played in forever. In the evening the all the little boys and I watched Herbie: Fully Loaded. Herbie has always been a classic in our family so it was fun to see this new movie Disney put out. Goodnight and bedtime!

Monday morning we got up and got ready and went to Marianne’s house to help with some yard work. She had a lot of logs that needed split and weeds to pull. Although I didn’t help with the work very much. I spent more than 2 hours just playing on the trampoline with the little boys. I had SO much fun. Laughing and giggling and smiling just like I was a little girl again. We played so many fun games. I love my brothers and my cousins. SO much. I had the funnest time playing with them. Plus I finally got some SUN! What a lovely day. We came back and I spent the afternoon just chattering my mom’s ear off. About a million things. I haven’t had anyone to listen to my random thoughts for an awfully long time so all the things that my brain has been working on came spilling out. And I mean spilling. I was really talking fast. But Mom puts up with me and laughs at me. I came back to Provo for the evening and went to FHE with the girls and got to meet some of the rest of their new friends. They seem like really great guys and they are staying here for Fall which is super fun. I also had time to sit and talk with Lyss which was just wonderful. I have missed that time so much.

And finally today, good grief it took me a while to get caught up to here. Well, today I woke up and went running (and for the first time actually appreciated the difference that elevation makes). I came home and showered and then did scriptures and some other reading while Lyss and Eva were doing their workout. We all ate lunch together and then I spent the afternoon doing random things while the girls did their homework. For one, I worked on catching up my journal! For dinner, I ran out to the store and picked up some fresh veggies and then threw together Pasta a la Rachel. It was whole wheat angel hair pasta with chicken, broccoli, zucchini, squash, tomatoes, onion, garlic all tossed with olive oil and basil and whatever else I decided to mix in there. Don’t ask me to make it again though because I’m not sure exactly what I did. Basically Eva and Lyss asked for pasta and veggies and I did what I could. I think it turned out okay. The girls raved about it but they would’ve raved about anything I cooked for them even if it was burnt and tasted like a shoe. So who knows how good it really was. I liked anyway. And regardless I was so happy to back in the kitchen again. I’ve really missed cooking while I was in London. Tonight we may watch a movie, we may not. If not I’ll probably curl up with Pride and Prejudice or one of the other books I brought with me. No promises but I’ll try to not get so far behind again. I really loved reflecting on my day, everyday while I was in London and that is something I really would like to make an effort to continue.

Goodbye.

My last day in London. I really cannot believe that this is over. A taxi is coming to pick me up in three hours but I honestly have no comprehension that tomorrow night I will be sleeping in my own bed at home in Caldwell. 

I woke up this morning and got ready for my day. We attended Eucharist at St. Paul's Cathedral. It was a really really cool opportunity. I'll probably write more about it later. 

Then I came home and spent my entire afternoon in Kensington Gardens. I couldn't think of a better way to say goodbye to this city. 

Home for one last dinner. Then we had a fireside. It was a talent show/gratitude night. I was toast. I had cried earlier in the park and I couldn't help but cry this evening. These girls have meant everything to me. They have been my tender mercies. I will of course remember the big adventures, the sites of the trip but it is the small smiles, compliments, and caring from these girls that made this so wonderful. I could not have done it without them all. When I tried to express this I of course completely started crying. Sister Barlow even gave me a hug. We also had "awards" by Katie and Sara. They were very heartfelt and thought out and highlighted some of the wonderful things about each of the people here at the centre. 

Now just a few more things to pack and then maybe a bit of sleep before the cab comes. To end here is something from my journal today. 

From my journal this afternoon:

"To be perfectly honest, I do not really believe that I am saying goodbye to London. The past seven weeks have just flown by. It seems just like yesterday I was seeing and doing my firsts but instead today I am seeing and doing my lasts.

I came to Kensington Gardens this afternoon to say my goodbye to London. I chose Kensington because I think if I was to pick just one place in London this would be my favorite. Kensington Gardens holds all of the best of my London experience. We walked through here on the very first Sunday and I got my first taste of the beauty I was going to experience on this trip. I returned the next Sunday (the first time I actually did something on my own) for a walk and to write a letter. That letter was filled with the beauty of London and the gratitude I was learning. I returned again for our guided walk. And then again and again. I came running here, took naps in the sun, sat and talked with friends, went to the palace, ate at the orangery, played in the peter pan park, and spent hours and hours just walking, listening and thinking here. My favorite memory of the Gardens will be seeing Peter Pan which was pure magic. Every emotion and feeling of this trip - excitement, beauty, gratitude, loneliness, unfamiliarity, homesickness, comfort, peace, confusion, friendship, calm, quiet, noise, childhood, simplicity, magic - has a tie to an experience I have had here in these Gardens. And so I felt it was a very appropriate place to come and say goodbye to this city and to this adventure. 

To be honest there is a little piece of my heart that is breaking right now and I am fighting back tears. I never thought that I would become so emotionally tied to this place and this experience. I have never been happier, never been lonelier, never been so confused, never learned so much. I don't know if I can really put into words all of what is in my heart right now. 

I sit here on my bench on Broad Walk and look across the gardens one last time. I can see the round pond in front of me. The swans are peacefully sitting on the surface. It is surrounded by people all the way around. Since it is such a beautiful day everyone has come out to enjoy the sun. I see trees everywhere. Just to my right, almost hidden, is the statue of Queen Victoria and if I turn around I can see Kensington Palace. There are birds chirping and dogs barking. I can hear children playing, people talking. Bikes, scooters, and skates go past along with walkers and joggers. Most of I all I see people living. It is simply beautiful and I value that simplicity. I've learned to appreciate it unlike I ever did before. I've taken pictures here many times so today I leave it to my mind to remember the details so that I can have this beautiful scene in my memory forever. 

Now I'm going on one last walk. Goodbye Kensington Gardens. Goodbye beautiful London. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you."

 

Ambivalence. Again.

Ambivalence: having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something.

At the end of winter semester I titled a blog Ambivalence because that was how I was feeling. I was so insanely excited to finish my winter classes and to get out of Provo and to come to London. I could hardly sit still the last couple of days because I was so happy for what was coming during the summer. At the same time though, I was feeling overwhelmingly sad for the semester to be ending. It was honestly probably the best semester I had ever had in my life. I had never had so much fun, made such good friends, played so hard, worked so hard, learned so much. I didn't really want it to be ending because things would inevitably change and I was so happy that I didn't want things to change. And at the same time I came to a realization about how much I was growing up and it was surprising how fast it had happened. The only way to describe how I was feeling was ambivalent because I had so many mixed feelings.

The best word to describe me right now is ambivalent again. I am so torn inside. I am so ready to go home. I seriously cannot wait to see my family, my friends, to get hugs. I am looking forward to all the wonderful things my summer holds: weddings, camping, gardening, farming, housework, cooking, sewing, scrapbooking, reading, just being with family, watching sunsets. I am so done with being a tourist, with traveling here and there and back again, with not having routine, with the unfamiliarity of site-seeing, with the loneliness that has been a part of this trip. I am looking forward to my own bed, my cell phone, and all of the other silly things that I have learned to be very very grateful for. But at the same time, I cannot believe I am leaving, that these 7 weeks are gone, done, finished. Not only can I not believe it but I am really sad about it. Time has never gone so quickly before. I have never learned so much, grown so much in such a short amount of time. I would never have believed how this trip would turn out and what it would do to and for me. I have had the most amazing experiences here, each uniquely wonderful. I have laughed and cried. I have traveled by every form of transportation, eaten yummy things, shared a room with some of the sweetest girls ever. I have attended church, watched shows, walked a bajillion miles. I have been blessed by other people's words and actions time and time again. Something everyday touches my mind and heart. I have danced in the rain and soaked up the sun. Most of all I have lived here. And I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity I had to be here. It has been one of the most fantastic, hard, magical, and rewarding things I have ever done in my life.

So I think once again, the best, and only, way to describe me right now is ambivalent. I apologize for getting behind on writing again for the past couple of days. I have just been trying to live every last second in this city to its fullest and I haven't taken the time to be on my computer for long enough to journal. But I don't really have any time left to be behind. So, here are my adventures and thoughts from the last couple of days.

Wednesday was an excursion day like usual. This week we got to go to Stratford upon Avon and see all of the Shakespeare sites! It was a really fun day. We left early and then had a 2 1/2 hour bus ride to get there. My body is officially DONE with traveling. At the beginning of the trip I could sleep for hours everytime the bus started to move. But the last two trips I haven't really slept at all which is really kind of obnoxious. Although it does give plenty of music and thinking time. Our first stop was Mary Arden's farm. Mary Arden was Shakespeare's mother. I really loved this stop because they have it set up to be a real working farm with animals and chores. They do a falconry and so we got to learn all about it from this man and his hawk Becky. Although they call hawks buzzards. Kinda interesting. The picture isn't very good and you probably can't really tell but I got to hold her. I held a piece of dead something in my hand and she came and sat on my arm and ate it. I also got to see pigs and sheep and I got to split wood! It was a really fun place to be. I can't wait to go home and be on the farm for the summer.

Our second stop was Anne Hathaway's cottage. Anne Hathaway was Shakespeare's wife. It was a really cute little place. I loved it. We also had lots of time to explore in the gardens around it. I found a little bench and sat down and just soaked up the trees for a bit. Then I kept walking and I saw the most charming place. It was a bench surrounded by trees and daisies. I fell in love with it. My favorite things... trees, benches, and daisies... all together. It was so pretty. And so peaceful. I've loved being able to get out of the city every week.

Our final stop was in the town of Stratford itself. We went to the birthplace of Shakespeare and then walked past Nash's House and Hall's Croft on our way to the Holy Trinity Church where we got to see where Shakespeare and much of his family are buried. We walked down by the River Avon (which actually means river so it's the River River, ha.) Then we wandered back up through the town to the gift shop where I bought myself Shakespeare's sonnets. Then an ice cream stop and I also stopped in a little Christmas shop. Then back to London! I love that London feels like home at the end of the day. I took myself out to get a kebab which had been highly recommended to me by Jordan Richardson and my daddy. They were right... it was SO yummy. Absolutely delicious. Then I came home and we watched Becoming Jane and I wrote a letter. It was a lovely end to the day.

Thursday was a day spent close to home because the tube was shut down from Tuesday night to Thursday night because of a strike. I never realized how much I truly loved the tube until I couldn't use it. I woke up early enough though to go to the Peter Pan park in Kensington Gardens. Normally you have to have a child with you to go inside but between 9:30 and 10:00 everyday they let anyone in so I wanted to go see. It was magical. I actually ran into a couple of the other girls from the centre and we all played together. I loved it. I think I can safely say that I am enchanted by everything about Peter Pan after this trip.
I spent a long, long time after that in Kensington Gardens. I listened to music, walked, sat, and thought a lot. It was a beautiful day and I was actually grateful that the strike had kept me close to home for the day. I really spent hours just wandering around soaking up the beauty that is there, thinking, reflecting.

Then I went to Nando's for lunch one last time and then did a few quick errands around Queensway. I came home and did my laundry and organized my room so that packing would be easier. Then dinner. After dinner I had decided to bus down to Picadilly Circus and see Phantom of the Opera. I was just going to go by myself but happily Brittany wanted to go see it again so we went together. We sat separately though which I haven't ever done before. I really loved it... it was a fantastic show. Just a thought about the day... I am amazed by how much I have learned to do things on my own here. Just a few months ago I never would have gone to the park or spent the day alone in the gardens. I wasn't brave enough and honestly being with yourself is different. But this trip has helped me learn so much. I can do things that I want to do on my own. And I'm kinda proud of myself for it.

Friday morning I got up and took my Fine Arts final. It was pretty easy, I felt really good about it. Then I got ready and went off to do my shopping! Yay for shopping. I had so much fun actually. First stop was Covent Garden, probably actually my favorite shopping place in London. I had seen something in the stalls for Mom a couple of weeks ago but hadn't gotten it then so I was just hoping that it would be there again... and happily it was. I actually got one for my future home too because I loved it so much. I also stopped at Thornton's there to get chocolate to take back. I seriously think there is 10 pounds of Thornton's in my suitcase. Then to Picadilly Circus for a bookstore. Ha. I spent a long time there. Just imagine me on a five story bookstore. I found some treasures for my future children... it seemed I was thinking about my future a lot that day. :) And I got somethings for my book addicted family. Then to the Knightbridge tube stop for... Harrods.
Oh my goodness. I spent hours and hours and hours there. I truly believe them when they say that they have everything... pianos, puppies, prada, pineapple... it is all there. A bit expensive but so much fun to look at. The candy land was like a carnival. I loved it. And the toyland was incredible. It was a child's dreamworld. Then I came home to finally put down my heavy heavy bags. I decided to spend my afternoon packing. I wanted to leave Saturday and Sunday free to be as unstressful as possible. It was really kinda sad to start packing up to go. I can't believe this is over. I got everything to fit and I'm pretty sure that neither of my bags are overweight. We'll see... I had to leave behind my towel and it is going to be close.... but the chocolate is worth it... I promise. Right after dinner Brittany and I went to Regent's Park and sat on a bench next to a fountain just reading. I am going to miss the parks so much! It was so lovely. Then we spent the evening walking on all of the bridges that cross the Thames. We started at Westminster and went back and forth finally ending up at Tower Bridge all lit up for the night. It was such a wonderful evening.

Saturday morning we woke up and went over to Buckingham Palace and lined up to see the parade for Trooping the Colours. It is a huge celebration here and because of it we got to see the Queen!! (And the princes too!!!!) It was a really neat experience... such a perfect one to have on our last Saturday.

I came back and did my last minute shopping which was basically food items. Then home for a little bit of the afternoon. Then I took myself out for my last meal out in London. There was really cute Italian restaurant on our street that I had been wanting to eat at for a really long time and I decided that splurging one last time would be okay. I intended to just go by myself since most people are mostly out of money but the other Rachel actually ended up joining me. Then when we got back four of us went together on a farewell walk. It starts at the Tower of London and takes you all the way home. It was about 5 miles but I really enjoyed it. It rained enough to use my umbrella one last time but was still really pleasant too. It was a really nice way to spend my last night... just like I spent the first few... walking with friends.

P.S. Lots of pictures... here.

Lovely days.

Life is lovely. 

Sundays are always good days but I don't think that this Sunday could've been any better. It was SUCH a lovely day. I woke up to thunder. Thunder is one of my favorite sounds especially as a sound to wake up to. I was curled up in bed and since the windows were open I could smell the fresh air. It was just lovely. I got up and got ready for church. By the time we were ready to go, the thunderstorm was over and we had a lovely sunny walk to church. It was stake conference this week and they were doing a broadcast for the UK and Ireland so all of the centre walked together to our building to watch it. I kinda struggle with walking and today was no exception... on our way to church we were walking and it was kinda slick and my feet completely slid out from underneath me. I completely ripped my tights and skinned my knee. I haven't done that since... okay well since February. But it still was rather unexpected and it hurt. When I got to church I went to clean up and it was bleeding pretty good. Luckily, one of the girl's mom was with us and she was prepared with bandaids (or plasters as they are called here). Then the conference. It was fantastic. We got to listen to Robert C. Oaks (of the seventy... over europe), Ann Dibb (YW 2nd counselor and prophet's daughter), Cheryl C. Lant (Primary President), Elder Neil L. Anderson (newest apostle), and President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (2nd counselor in the 1st president). They talked about missionary work, the temple, strengthening families, revelation, committing to the gospel, not allowing ourselves to be governed by fear, and that peace and friendship begins with a smile. It was a really good conference. We came home and had a sandwich bar for lunch and we were invited to the Hyde Park building to attend a Young Single Adult fireside. I left early on my own and wandered  through the park listening to music and thinking and appreciating it's beauty. I am very much going to miss the parks when I leave. It was an amazing fireside. Each of the general authorities gave a few thoughts that were very touching. But President Uchtdorf's talk was truly amazing. I was so filled with the spirit by his words and thoughts. He talked about the future, about making decisions and establishing your own legacy. He quoted from Harry Potter (yes quoted Harry Potter!) where Dumbledore tells Harry that "It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities." I really loved that thought. And he told us that if you are feeling that you are not very good, don't let yourself get down, "Moses started out as a basket case too." He reminded us to keep a smile on our faces and told us "wherever we go, let us cause smiles in the lives of others." It was truly wonderful. He is a prophet of God. I came home and I got the chance to talk to Lyss and Eva. It was so wonderful. I have missed talking to them so much. 

Monday morning I woke up for breakfast and then finished reading my book for English. It was A Certain Justice by P.D. James. I didn't like the ending at all. It was dreadful. But it was finished. Then lunch and out to run errands. I did a bunch of shopping on Queensway... there are a million souvenir shops and I found some of my gifts for my family and friends. I'm finding on this trip that I am liking being alone more and more. I still hate feeling alone, more than anything. But I don't mind going on my own adventures as much as I used to. Then home for dinner. Then I had to spend the evening at home writing my paper and studying. 

Because this morning I woke up and we had Fine Arts class and then we took our final for English. I think it went well. After I finished that we went adventuring. We went first to Abbey Road. We took pictures in the crosswalk... not an easy task trying to dodge traffic! And we signed the walls and took pictures in front of the studio. I had the Beatles stuck in my head all day. Then we went to Baker Street because some of the girls I was with hadn't had a chance to see the Sherlock Holmes museum yet. We stepped into some of the shops right there and when Brittany and I came out the other girls were no where to be found! Since we have no cell phones when you are separated from a group that pretty much means that you are separated from them. Period. So Brittany and I went to the Tate Britain. I think it was by far one of my favorite galleries. It was full of the period of art that I have found myself drawn to time and time again on this trip.  Being here and experiencing so many things makes me appreciate it so much that I just want to express my thoughts and feelings someway. More than anything I want to do something creative. I just don't know what I could possibly do.  I'm not a good writer really so I don't think a story or poetry is an option. My stick figures are pretty cute but I don't think that counts. I value music a lot and I can fake the piano and mostly play the flute but I don't think I could write anything. I don't know. But I really want to be able to do something.  I'm working on trying to come up with an idea. It has been something that has been constantly on my mind as of late and was a very conscious thought today in the museum.  After the museum was dinner. After that I went to Covent Garden with Brittany and Ari for ice cream and then we rode the tube for a long time until we got kicked out. We got kicked out because there is a tube strike for the next 48 hours. Which is pretty obnoxious. But we'll deal with it. We walked home and then I curled up in the classroom for the evening. We watched Mamma Mia (such a fun, feel good movie) and I wrote postcards and letters and started this entry. Then when that finished we started Finding Neverland. I couldn't do anything while we watched that. I just sat curled up, loving it. I totally lost it at the end. I couldn't help but cry. I don't know if I can really explain exactly why that movie meant so much to me tonight. Partially probably because of the subject, I just watched Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens and its message has been on the front of my mind. The movie just spoke to me. Simply and quietly. But very clearly. Oh I loved it. And the last song that plays with the credits is one that has a lot of importance to me. It was just perfect. 

Cambridge

Today was a perfectly lovely day! 

I woke up this morning late and felt fully rested for the first time in a long time. I got ready and then ran to the bank and picked up some fruit and such for breakfast. I also got some more fruit and other things to pack for a lunch to take with me to Cambridge! We hopped on our train and took a 45 minute trip to get there. It was pouring in London when we left but Cambridge was just overcast which was so nice. We got out of the train station and had to exit through an intense security setup complete with drug dogs sniffing us. Apparently Cambridge was having their Strawberry Festival today and they were strict about what could be brought in. I'm not sure exactly what it was but it sure was an experience. Then we just started walking. We didn't really have a big plan for what to do today, mostly we just wanted to wander around and appreciate Cambridge. Cambridge was where my daddy spent a lot of time on his mission and so it was fun to think about him walking down some of the same streets 20+ years ago. I wonder what his thoughts were as he saw the people, the buildings, the scenery. Cambridge was a lovely town. Very charming. We ended up down by the university and got to go look into one gardens of one of the colleges but we had rotten luck in our timing for our trip. It is exam time for the university and so all of the colleges were closed to visitors so our exploring ended up being pretty limited. But we were standing outside of King's College when we got hit up for a punting trip. This was something that was highly recommended by my daddy and by Dave so we of course said yes. I am so glad we did. The weather stayed lovely and punting along the river was not only a really fun experience but was a great way to see some of the colleges at Cambridge. I really had a lot of fun with it. 

After that we did some wandering and some shopping along the market and streets (I bought myself a Cambridge t-shirt) and some more wandering and then came home. I know that probably doesn't sound like a particularly productive or exciting excursion but I was very satisfied with it. A lot of me had sentimental reasons for being there. It was also fun to compare Cambridge to Oxford and to get the experience of punting. I had a really good time there. On our way back from Cambridge our train was to King's Cross station and so we took the opportunity to pay a visit to Platform 9 3/4 and take our pictures there. It made me happy. I really enjoy Harry Potter. 

Then Sam and Jord went to dinner at Wagamama's which is a noodle bar... we went there in Bath too. I liked it but it wasn't my favorite at all so I came home and stopped by Marks and Spencer instead and picked up a pasta salad, fruit and veggies. It was perfect. Then I basically spent the evening reading. We have a 500 page book due on Tuesday plus we are taking our final that day and I didn't start reading until today. But with the train rides and this evening I am doing pretty well. It was the perfect ending for the day... just curled up in the drawing room reading a book. Life doesn't get much better than that. (Except maybe a different book.) 

So I know today doesn't sound particularly amazing or unique in anyway but I am just SO happy.  I think the amazingness of yesterday combined with the simple goodness of today just made me keep feeling super happy. I was writing to my mom and my explanation was that I am magnificently happy. Nothing in particular, just life feels good right now. I just want to sing and dance and tell the whole world that someone loves them, that life is beautiful.  I'm probably not making sense since I don't make sense to myself right now. I'm just beaming happy. Ah, life is grand. :) I am so grateful for the simple goodness of the people and things in life that make each day so lovely. 

"To live would be an awfully big adventure."

I am indescribably happy right now! I really have been trying to come up with words to explain how amazing I feel right now and I can't come up with any. Today was an INCREDIBLE day. It was one of, if not the, best day of my trip and probably even my life.

I slept in until 8:15 this morning which felt marvelous. I ate some breakfast and then got ready to go to the temple! We left at 9:00 and took the tube, a train, and a taxi (13 pounds round trip) to get there. It took about an hour and a half. This was definitely another thing that I will not take for granted when I go home. In Provo, I can get to the temple in 5 minutes. I can always walk-in. Here it took a lot of planning and work and if Brandt hadn't come with us there wouldn't have been enough priesthood to do baptisms and confirmations at the same time. So that alone made it a really humbling experience. We got there a little bit before our appointment and so we stopped in the visitor's centre. It was so wonderful to see the Christus there with outstretched arms. The missionaries in charge of the centre took us into a room and showed us a video while we were waiting. I'm not sure which one it was exactly but it was about family and within seconds I was crying. The spirit I felt today at the temple today was overwhelming.  I ended up with an answer to a question that I hadn't even specifically voiced. My thoughts lately have been directing me toward marriage and family. Not that I am getting married... I'm not making any announcements. :) But on the serious side, I have been thinking about them a lot lately and thinking that I really need to focus on centering my life around preparing for those. And today I was given a subtle but very strong confirmation of that. Family is the most important thing and more than anything I want a family.  My greatest desire is to be a wife and a mother and that is what I need to be focusing on, where I need to keep my life directed. I'd been thinking about this a lot, conversations with roommates and friends, experiences here in London, friends getting married in the very near future has all made me think a lot but today I got the feeling that I needed to know that it is what is right for me right now. That I need to be working and changing to prepare for a temple marriage and eternal family. So the temple was absolutely perfect... there is so much peace and serenity there. I was so strengthened, simply happy to be there. We did our work and then did the return trip.

I had a little bit of time before dinner and so I did a couple random things and then went down. At dinner I was sitting next to Emily who asked if anyone wanted to buy her ticket to Peter Pan from her. There have been ads up for a couple of weeks for Peter Pan and I wanted to go really badly. I didn't have any plans for the evening and so I jumped on it. And oh my goodness I am so glad that I did. It was sensational. Absolutely amazing. It was in a theatre that had been put up in a tent IN Kensington Gardens. So it smelled clean and fresh and grassy. It was a round stage with a million moving parts. And they projected 3D images all the way around the top of the tent through the whole show. It was seriously awesome. But all of that aside. The play was incredible. Every line, every action was just perfect. My especially favorite part was when Peter and Tinkerbell fly away through London to Neverland with Wendy, John and Michael. It was breathtaking. The way they did the projection and the flying were truly magical. I felt years slip away and I was a little girl tonight. I couldn't help but cry. And I don't even know why. But truly it was magical. And I don't care how old I am... I do believe in fairies. 

So like I said... I can't describe how happy I am right now. The combination of the temple and Peter Pan made today just amazing. Just one more thought...  Peter says at the end of the play when he comes back and finds Wendy all grown up that "To live would be an awfully big adventure." That is my thought for this evening as I finish this post. Truly what an awfully big adventure living really is. But you actually have to get out there and live it. That doesn't always mean traveling to far away places or spending each day with new experiences. I think it just means that you have to wake up each morning and live every day. It takes patience, gratitude, a sense of humor, and hard work. But what amazing things we can experience and how wonderful life can be. Oh what an adventure is life. 

So behind!

I have been procrastinating writing for a couple of days now. I'm not really sure why.  Scotland was probably my favorite overall experience thus far. And so I really want to write all about it and why I loved it. But for some reason I just don't want to write. Plus now I have other things to talk about too. So first of all, I'm sorry for being so slow and behind.  I guess I've been distracted?

Alright, Scotland.

We boarded the train at 8:00 on Wednesday morning. It was a four and a half hour ride to Edinburgh. I sat with Mari, Elissa, and Lisa Ann around a table. It was a really nice ride. I had lots of time to sleep, listen to music, think and read. I read the book the Giver during the trip. It was one that is a classic from growing up but I just never read for some reason. I really loved it. And it gave me more to think about. How I view life, how I want life to be, what I am willing to do to make life that way. I really loved it.  Alyssa started it with me during Winter and I had been wanting to finish it ever since then. We arrived in Edinburgh and walked a couple of blocks down to check into our hostel. It wasn't ready for us yet so we stored our bags in a room and then took off for our first Scottish adventure. The first thing we decided to do was climb up to Arthur's Seat. A note about Scotland... it actually has elevation changes! London and it's surrounding are basically totally flat... the slightest hill is a big deal but Edinburgh actually has hills! Arthur's Seat is at the very top of some of the hills. From the top you get an AMAZING 360 degree view of Edinburgh and the area around it. The climb was actually a pretty good one. We took the long version and ended up basically climbing up and down two hills. I loved it so much though. After hours on a train to do something physical just felt FANTASTIC. I was so happy to be outside. It was a beautiful day too, perfect for the climb. And the view from the top made every step totally worth it. Scotland is INCREDIBLE. We climbed down the easier version and then went back to the hostel and moved our stuff into our rooms. The hostel was an interesting experience, much better than I expected though. Our room had four bunk beds in it and two bathrooms. We were in a handicapped room so they were huge rooms with the shower in with the toilet. We each had a key, we had to make our own beds, but they did bring fresh towels. Overall it was good. The only thing was the water was kinda yucky which meant we had to buy a bunch of bottles and I know I did not stay hydrated well enough. For dinner Sam, Jord, Lisa Ann, Brittany and me went a place called the Filling Station. It was basically American, they even called the chips fries and was exactly what I wanted. We had yummy garlic tomato bread appetizer, I had a cajun chicken sandwich and then we split a cookie explosion dessert. It was so perfect. Then we went back to the hostel and ended up having a girl's night. There were about 10 or so of us that ended up on a floor, just curled up, talking. It was perfect. There is something so fulfilling in girl talk. I just love the laughing, the giggling, the squirming, the teasing. Then off to bed! 

Thursday morning we got up and had breakfast at the hostel and then Sam, Jord, Lisa Ann, Brittany and I walked up to see Edinburgh Castle. It was super cool! Castles are fascinating to me. There was so much history in this and I found myself wishing I knew more about the Scottish side of monarchs. Then as we made our way down the street we did some shopping, I bought myself a sweatshirt and a cashmere scarf.  Our next stop was the National Gallery of Scotland. I LOVED this gallery. It was the PERFECT size for me to appreciate the art and take the time to look at everything but not get bored or antsy.  On our way out we met a Scottish man wearing a kilt playing the bagpipes. Two notes about that. I loved our trip because seriously there were only a couple of times when I could not hear bagpipes playing somewhere. I loved the tone it set for our trip. It just made everything feel so Scottish! Also, this man was very friendly, let us take our touristy pictures with him, all the while talking and laughing and smiling with us. That was the impression I got from the Scottish people that I interacted with. They were so much more cheerful and open and laid back in comparison to Londoners. We went to a pub, The Mitre, for lunch. It was so yummy. And again, so friendly. Then we did a bunch more touristing. We went to the Cathedral for me (We've seen so many that I just wanted to see another one.) and then to the writer's museum (Robert Burns, Sir Walter Scott, Robert Louis Stevenson).  Our final stop was at the museum of childhood where we collapsed for a while and had some more girl talk. I love girl talk. We ate at a little sandwich for dinner and then we were going to go do a graveyard tour but it didn't work out for that night so instead we climbed up to a building, I don't actually know what it was, we called it the Parthenon because that was kinda what it looked like. We found a bench and sat down and got to watch the sunset. It was so wonderful. I haven't see a sunset since we left home and I probably won't again so I just sat there soaking in the beauty of it. We talked some and sat quietly some. It was lovely. Although there was an interesting point. Some teenage boys walked past us and we were talking and when they got to the corner they turned around and yelled "you're lying" and then started throwing rocks at us. Literally throwing rocks at us. I couldn't believe it. We stood up and the immediately took off around the corner but I was so surprised! The sun set very late... not tell after 10:00 so we came back and went to sleep!

Friday morning we were up and ate breakfast and then we all got on a coach because we were spending the day traveling around Scotland.  The first place we went was Stirling Castle. I liked it but it wasn't really any different that Edinburgh. Although they did have a tapestry being woven that was fascinating. It will take years and lots of money to finish. I enjoyed just walking around and talking with some of the girls though. I was with some different people than normal which was fun. Our next stop was at Wallace Monument. We climbed a mountain and then 300+ stairs to get to the top but again it was SO worth it. The view was breathtaking. I love Scotland. We took a lot of fun group pictures and then back on the bus! But it was SO worth it. We drove to Lake Mentith and took a boat across to an island where we got to see the Inchmahome Priory ruins. It was so beautiful. We had lots of time just to walk around the island and sit in the shade. And it was such a beautiful sunny day. Ah. I was so happy. At this point I had officially decided that I LOVED Scotland probably more than London. It had definitely been my favorite trip. We got back to Edinburgh later than we thought we would so Sam, Jord and I just grabbed dinner where we could (The Filling Station again) because we had tickets to a ghost tour! We got to go into the underground vaults and into closes and hear some pretty cool stories! But really it wasn't scary at all. But it was fun. I enjoyed it. We went and got some really yummy milkshakes and then spent the evening at the hostel. 

The next morning I woke up at about 5:00 feeling really sick. My stomach was hurting really badly. I assumed I was sick and laid in bed until breakfast. I went down and Brittany bought me a Sprite (she is so sweet and was so concerned) and I ate some toast but nothing changed. I just hurt really badly.  We checked out of the hostel and I didn't want to waste my last hours in Scotland so Sam, Jord and I went to the Royal Museum. It was SO awesome. I wish I hadn't been feeling so lousy because I loved it. It was very interactive, very well laid out. There was so much to do and see. Just really well put together. A highlight... Dolly, the sheep that was cloned, she is there, in a glass box on display. I had a good time but my stomach was just really hurting. Sam and Jord went to lunch and I left them there to go back to the hostel and take a nap on the couch. I passed a parade on my way. It was basically piccolos and drums! Super fun. I laid down and slept for a while but waking up I still was sick. By this point I was starting to realize I wasn't so much sick as I was just hurting. We sat around killing the last little bit of time and then caught our train home. I did okay. It wasn't a good trip and I didn't sleep a lot but it wasn't bad. Thank goodness for technology because when I got home I got to talk to Mom and Dad on gmail video chat. They got me settled down, relaxed. I don't do well with being sick away from home. Actually I completely freak out. But I talked to them and then went to bed. Oh and thank goodness for friends who send letters too! I was feeling so lousy but there was a letter from Patrick waiting here for me which just made my night so much better. Seriously knowing that someone cares makes all the difference in the world to me. 

So Sunday.

I woke up feeling terrible. Double thanks for technology. My little sister stalks me on facebook... she gets a text message every time that I change my status... so I had her ask mom to get online. I talked to her and got calmed down again and then got ready for church. Church itself went really well. It was our last Sunday with our wards because this Sunday is Stake Conference and the last Sunday we will be attending Eucharist at St. Paul's. I will really miss it actually. I had a really positive experience attending church in the Wandsworth ward. I felt like I was needed and used in some capacity or another every week. They were so welcoming and so grateful. I just loved being with them. We performed a musical number in Sacrament Meeting and said our goodbyes. We came home, I ate some more toast and then spent the afternoon writing a letter, reading, and talking to family. I ate salad at dinner and then we got to go spend time in the professors flats. It was really fun to get to talk with them and see how they live. 

Then Monday. 

 I woke up still feeling kinda lousy but decided to just deal. We had London Walks class in the morning and then Jordan, Sam and I went out to do some shopping. We went to Primark first. Primark is... Primark is... Well I don't know if I can really describe it. It was overwhelming that's for sure. It is packed from top to bottom with super cheap, super cute clothes and a bajillion people trying to shop. I bought a blouse for 4 pounds but that was all I wanted/needed. I have a really hard time spending money on things that I don't really need. I second guess myself a lot, even if I am pretty sure that I want whatever it is. But Jordan and Sam found a lot of really cute things and bought a bunch of stuff. Next stop was M&S for some food. Sam & Jord stocked up for the week but at this point everything still seemed really unappetizing so I just grabbed some grapes. We made a couple of other stops and then came home. I was exhausted by this point. I talked to Mom and took a nap before evensong and dinner. After dinner we all got dressed up and went to the Royal Opera House and watched "Ondine," a ballet. I loved the ballet itself... it was so beautiful and I felt peaceful while watching it.  But there were two thirty minute intervals which was really obnoxious especially because the act in between them was only twenty minutes. So the intervals were a little bit excessive but overall it was a wonderful experience.

Tuesday.

Tuesday morning started out with class and then we had a bridal shower at the centre! There are four girls here that are engaged to be married between now and September and so a couple of the girls came up with the idea to throw them all a shower! It was the funnest shower I have ever been to because there were so many of us. Two girls did games, one of them was a question game that had so many inside jokes attached to it that just had us rolling in laughter. And then we had AMAZING food prepared by some of the other girls... I ate little tastes of everything because I was still not feeling good. And there were gifts of course. Also, lots of giggling and laughing and fun stories. It was just such a fun afternoon. Then we went to the Imperial War Museum. Sam, Jord and I went at the beginning of the trip but we needed to go back for class and for my own desire as well. I love that museum. It is so well put together. So organized, so well put together. It is really well done.  However, it is also very sobering. We went through something called the trench experience that takes you through a very realistic WWI trench. It smelled terrible, was dark and hard to see. It was a scary feeling.  Much of the rest of the museum is the same. So real but very sobering. It really makes you stop and think. The thing that stood out to me the most was outside of the museum. There is a piece of the Berlin Wall that says "Change Your Life."

I loved this for a couple of reasons. First, because of what it must have meant to the people who lived during that time. What a different world people would have seen then. Second, because of what it means to me right now. I felt that this was perfect for my trip. I came here with the intention to learn, grow and change my life. And I have learned a lot and I feel like I grown a lot too. These past few weeks have been some of the most amazing and most fulfilling as well as some of the hardest at the same time. I also have learned how much I still have to do. But also I feel like maybe, if I work hard enough, I actually can. I can change my life. I also was impressed by the simplicity of this idea. Change your life. It didn't say change the world. It didn't even say change one other person's life. Just simply... change your life. If everyone would just work to change themselves, think about what could happen! And even if not, even if just you change your life, think of what that can do for your little world. So that was my plan for the trip... I think in a lot of ways I did. But it also is going to be something I continue pursuing. I am going to change my life. Find the things I don't like and change them. Find the things I do like and improve them. Do all I can and see what will happen. I'm not sure yet what my future brings. And for the first time, I think I'm okay with that. Because I have a lot of work to do right now to get ready for it and I think instead of always wishing, waiting, pining for the future, I am going to live and love life right now while I am working toward it. I'm not sure how well that came out but just know that I really loved that piece and that it made me think a lot. We came home and had dinner and then a group of us went and saw Jersey Boys. It tells the story of the band the Four Seasons using their music. I really liked it. It had a lot more music that I was familiar with than I was expecting and in the end we got to stand up and dance which I really needed. It was really fun and at the same time gave you a lot to think about. I had a good time. I was also really glad to be with such sweet girls... Lisa Ann, Brittany and Nicole. 

Wednesday

Wednesday was another travel day. Yay for the bus? I sat with Brittany and tried to sleep but failed miserably so I ended up just listening to music and thinking a lot. Our first stop was in Brighton. We went to the Royal Pavillion which was the home of King George IV and some other important royal people. It was some of the most amazing architecture and interior design that I have ever seen (and I've seen some pretty cool things recently). It was very elaborate and ornate... there was a one ton chandelier in the dining room. It was beautiful. Sometimes I really wonder what it would have been like to be a lady back then. To dress up in fancy clothes, to act as ladies and gentleman, everything. It would have been a very different life, that's for sure. Then we walked down the pier. It was picturesque, absolutely charming. It was everything you always see when people try to recreate a pier. I just walked along it slowly, soaking up the sun and the sea air and thinking. Our second stop (and ended up being final stop because of some timing problems) was Bodiam Castle. I really loved this castle. It had a huge moat and then was basically just ruins and so it left so much for imagination. I was a princess in a castle for the day. The only thing I need is a prince. :) I guess I'll have to wait a little longer for that one. But seriously it was so much fun, and we got a bunch of fun pictures. Then back to London, I ate dinner at the centre and then was working on blogging. I really was going to post this yesterday but then someone started a movie and invited me down... I figured I could do both... but I didn't. So sorry!

Finally, the last bit of catchup, today... Thursday.

We had fine arts class this morning and learned all about the golden section or golden ratio. I'm not really sure why, but we did. Then I got ready for the day and worked on planning out my last few days here. Then Sam, Jordan, Emily, Ari, Nicole and me went to the Orangery for a light snack. The Orangery is a cute little place to have tea and cake attached to Kensington Palace. It was super yummy and super fun. Then we toured Kensington Palace. It was kind of a let down considering we had to pay 11 pounds but was still fun. We learned how to waltz (ha, not.) and tied bow ties (well tried to tie bow ties) and saw a lot of rooms full of history. When we came out we found Brinai and Whitney on the grass so we sat down with them. The others left to do other things but it felt so good out in the sun that I stayed and talked and told stories with them. I've said a couple of times now but I'll say it again, I love girl talk. It made for a perfectly lovely afternoon. Then dinner. After dinner I had some time and was working on this blog and so I was online and I got to chat with Jordan Richardson which was super happy. I also got to video chat with my mom and she told me that there was a letter from Australia at home for me!! It was from Isaac. Isaac is Patrick, Austin and Jordan's best friend from high school that is still on his mission. Sometime in March or April we had all sat down and written him letters. Basically I told him that his best friends were my best friends and so I wanted to be friends with him. And he wrote back. Megan read me the letter over video chat and it made my day. Everything he wrote was exactly the way the boys had described him and more than once he had me laughing out loud. It seriously made my day!! I love getting mail and this one was especially appreciated. Because truly, the boys are my best friends. I've talked with them (via chat and/or letters) more than I've talked to my roommates lately. And so I really do want to be friends with Isaac. We left just after this and went and saw the longest running play ever... mousetrap which is a mystery by agatha christie. We got extra credit to see it but it was really enjoyable and I didn't feel like I was just sitting there because I had to be. It was really good acting and a pretty good storyline twist. Now I am finally finishing this blog. I really am sorry it took SO long to update... I don't know what happened, well maybe I do. But it's done now. And I'll stay on top of it for these last few days! Oh I guess I should mention... I'm still not feeling great. I'm not bad at all, during the day I'm fine, it's just when I eat anything I get pain in my stomach. So I'm trying to not eat too much and keeping it mild when I do. I'll probably just deal with it for the last bit and figure it out when I get home. 

Oh, one last thing... I didn't want to fight with blogger to upload all my pictures so here is the link to my facebook album where you can see them from the last little bit. I just picked some of my favorites (of the ones that I have, I still need to swap with some people).

Rain

 Today I am feeling happy and peaceful. I am sitting in the evening sun writing, the window is open and the breeze is coming in and because it rained really hard last night and this morning the air smells fresh and clean. That's kinda how I'm feeling, fresh, like the rain just washed away the  dirt and troubles that were on the surface and left it clean and ready to start new again. I really love the rain. I know I often talk about sunshine and how much I associate that with happiness. But rain is so important to. It brings hope. It cleans, refreshes. Rainy days are often talked about as the troubling days, the sad ones and I would agree that I often associate the storms of life with the storms of mother nature. But I would also argue for another connotation for rain. And that is the one that I am feeling and smelling and being today. Rather than the rain bringing troubles, it washed them away. 

Yesterday was a lovely day. I woke up to an email from Alyssa which seriously made me beaming happy the entire day. She put a lot of time and thought into it so that she could send me a hug across the seas. It meant so much to me. It was the tender mercy I needed to start out my day. Then I stayed home for the morning and worked on writing my English paper. I finished and got ready for the day. I was expecting Sam and Jord to be back from their walk long before then and so I did some reorganizing but since they still weren't back I decided to just go out on my own. Which turned out to be a really good choice. I had a couple errands to run and then went to the Natural History Museum. It was a really cool museum, something that Mom and Luke could have spent days in. Seriously they would have LOVED it. 

I also spent a lot of time just walking and thinking. I meant to take my ipod but forgot it and I think it was better without it to just have some pondering time. There are some things on my mind constantly as of late that are somewhat overwhelming and I needed some time to just sort through them. It was really good. Plus I got to show myself that I can do this city and things in it independently. I was a really good afternoon. Dinner and then I got to chat with Lyss which was fabulous. I finished up my paper and then we went and saw Angels and Demons. I loved the book and had high hopes for the movie. Not so much. They took out a lot of things that I thought were essential. Plus there were some poorly done technical things. I don't know. It just wasn't the same feeling as the book. So I wouldn't particularly recommend it. But I would say read the book for sure. Then I had a hard time falling asleep because it was a really hot day. But it started to rain and we opened everything up which helped a lot. 

Today started with class and then we (Jord, Sam, Me and Jord's project group) went to the British Library. They have some real treasures. We got to see the Magna Carta (which I didn't actually know what it was until we were there.) and manuscripts handwritten by Jane Austen. There was the original score of the Messiah by Handel, lyrics handwritten by the Beatles. Pages from Leonardo da Vinci's notebook. It was amazing to see the originals of so many important and wonderful things. Then we (Jord, Sam and me) went to the V&A (Victoria and Albert) Museum again (we went one of our first days here). We did our questions, tried on some clothes and left feeling very satisfied. We stopped by Marks and Spencers (M&S) for some fruit and then came home to find each of us had mail!!!! Hooray... mail is my happiest thought! It was from Austin and it seriously made my day. I also got to video chat home and talk to Daddy! Mom is always around and willing to listen and I love her and am grateful to her for it but Daddy is so busy lately that talking to him has been impossible. It made me very happy. My dad can always make me laugh and knows just how to tease me... it is going to be seriously important that my future husband teases me. I love to laugh.  Dinner was amazing as always... I need to ask Terri if I can have her recipes. Then Jord and Sam and some other people went out to see a show but I am exhausted so I packed, wrote a letter and now am headed to sleep. We leave tomorrow morning at 6:15 for a four day trip to Scotland!!!! My computer won't be coming with me so I'll have major catchup to do when we come home. Until then... be happy!

Weekend!!

I had a pretty laid back weekend. Which was really nice. It was also GORGEOUS weather which has been absolutely amazing. I am so much happier when the sun comes out. Even for a few minutes makes all the difference in the world to me. 

We woke up Saturday morning and went to Portobello Road for breakfast... fruit and bread... yum. I'm starting to look for things I want to bring home with me too. It's hard though because while I really want things to remember London by, I'm really not a trinket person and I hate clutter so I don't want to buy just anything. Then we came home for a bit and I worked on reading my book and then we packed a picnic (with all the food from Borough yesterday) and went to Hampstead Heath. We had a real picnic basket and a blanket and it was so wonderful!!! I really had a fun time. And it was SO yummy. Fresh fruits and veggies and bread. Absolutely perfect. Lovely. It was also basically amazing because the part of Hampstead Heath that we were in was seriously like a forest. It was full of trees and overgrown grass and to be honest if I didn't know better I would've had no idea that I was still just minutes away from the heart of London. I love how easy it is to escape in this city from the hustle and bustle and just find some free space to breathe and relax. After we ate we laid down and crashed out for more than an hour. It was amazing. Then home. We went out and explored Oxford Street which had traffic shut down for the day. It is a crazy street. If for some strange reason you can't find something at Portobello Road, I'm pretty sure you could find it on Oxford Street. Then we came home and I finished my talk for today.

I love Sundays. Seriously they make me so happy. It was a LOVELY walk to church today. The sun was shining and it was amazing. And my talk went okay. It was on the 13th Article of Faith and I only had to do a 15 minutes which wasn't bad at all. I'm not sure how good those minutes actually were but ah well, it's done. Then I came home and CRASHED. I slept from 2:15 until 4:15. Then I talked to Karl for a bit for our weekly Sunday chat and said Hello to the rest of my family as well. Then dinner and then we went to an AMAZING concert. Tonight we got to hear the London Symphony Orchestra perform at the Barbican. It was INCREDIBLE. I was seriously amazing. I was worried that I was going to be sleepy but there was no chance of that. I was completely mesmerized. We heard Elgar and Stravinsky and then my favorite part of the evening was Brahms. It was his Violin Concerto in D Major and it was seriously fantastic. The guest violinist did a fabulous job and had 4 rounds of applause, all of which were deserved. I really loved it. Such a cool opportunity. I wish I could explain all of the thoughts that the were running through my head as I listened to the concert. Music is such a powerful way to bring out emotions and feelings and thoughts. Now it is late and I am sleepy so I am going to bed! 

Sunny Days in London!

The last two days have been just GORGEOUS!!!!! I love London when the sun decides to come out! It is so beautiful!

Yesterday started with our Fine Arts class. It was presentations from class plus a presentation by Sister Durham about the concert we are going to on Sunday. We get to hear the London Symphony perform Elgar, Stravinsky and Brahms. I am so excited. A note from class: it is very important to me that my future husband treats me with respect. Dr. Durham was straight up rude to Sister Durham, basically mocking her and treating her in a very disrespectful manner in front of our entire class. And I did not like it. I want someone who will value and respect me enough to treat me well. But if she is happy and loves him, all the power to them. Anyways that was just a thought. Then Sam and I rode a bus down to Oxford Street to the biggest Apple store in the world. Because, if you need to get your Mac fixed where better to take your computer than to the biggest Apple store? Well, apparently somewhere else, because their help didn't end up working. I'm going to have to go back and try something different. My iPhoto has crashed and I can't open any of my pictures. Don't freak, they aren't gone. They just won't open in my program. Hm. I'm not too thrilled about it. We had planned to go to a museum for the afternoon but with the surprise sunny day we vetoed that and decided to do the Holland Park walk instead. It was super cute, I especially liked the first half which was cute old, billion dollar houses. And it was lovely to be outside. We came home for dinner and then went out and saw Blood Brothers. It was a musical I had never heard of but Sam and Jord both love it so we went with Kylie and Sara and Katie. I really enjoyed it. It was a little bit rough on the edges but it left you with a lot to think about. And the acting was FANTASTIC. They were amazing. I was very very impressed. 

This morning I woke up and ate breakfast and then since I finally received the package with my tennis shoes in it (yes, I left them home, don't ask) I went running! It was another GORGEOUS morning and so I went through Kensington Gardens. I ran for almost 20 minutes and then walked for almost an hour more. It was just so beautiful I couldn't stop. Home for a shower and then we went to Borough Market. It was one of my favorite things in London so far. It is a market open every Thurs-Sat that is comprised entirely of food. And all of it looked amazing. I ate tomato/basil foccacia bread and pineapple/orange juice for lunch plus I got chocolate covered nuts for a treat (my favorite thing ever!!!). We also bought a bunch of fruits and veggies and a rosemary bread for a picnic lunch tomorrow. I am super excited. Then we came home and the girls went to a museum but I stayed to edit my paper for English and to work on my talk for Sunday. I needed to do both so I just curled myself up in the classroom and worked for a few hours. Then dinner (baked potatoes... yum! - we have been here for 4 weeks tomorrow and we have yet to have a repeat dinner... Terri is AMAZING).  And then we went on our London Eye ride! The program paid for it because of all of our hot water troubles which I am glad for because I don't know that I would've paid for it myself. Don't get me wrong, it was a really cool experience. I loved seeing London from that view but I just could've done better things with the money if it was my own. As in, it wasn't a London MUST. But a couple of thoughts. London is small. Everything is really close together. You don't realize it riding the tube but as you start to get to know things and walk around or bus more you find yourself super close to things you had no idea you were close to. I loved going after I had been here for a while so that I recognized everything and could point things out. It was way more worthwhile that way. Also London/England is FLAT. There are no mountains. Maybe a tiny hill every now and again. But that's it. Even from way out you could see straight across. Nothing! It was weird for me having grown up in the West where the Rockies dominate. So, I loved it and I loved that it was free. Now I home just catching up and finishing my talk!