Lessons Learned From Skiing

1. If you don't like something, do something about.

I've hated winter for a long long time. I just don't really like the snow. It makes a mess of the sidewalks and the roads and makes it hard to get things done. But this winter I decided that I was going to pick up a winter sport.  And so I went sledding with my ward. I went bobsledding.  And today we went skiing. And do you know what? My perspective has totally changed. Yesterday it snowed ALL day long. And it didn't bother me in the least. In fact, I was actually kind of happy about it. Secretly and quietly. But quite happy about it. Really, this winter hasn't been nearly as bad as others. And it's because I did something about it. 

2. Always be honest. Completely and totally.  From everyone's perspectives. 

Long story but there was some confusion with passes today and we were doing what we thought would be honest but it didn't work for the people at the park. It turned into a mess of a situation and I feel so sad about how it all worked out. Hindsight is 20/20 but looking back we could have handled it much better. 

3. There are more muscles in my legs than I knew I had before. 

They are talking to me right now. Saying ouchie! Also, turns out bruises on your shins are extremely painful. 

4. Skiing on the bunny hill with 4 year olds makes you feel a little bit lame. 

Granted, I learned a lot by practicing on the bunny hill. Switching directions. Stopping better. Keeping my skis parallel. But when you are getting passed by little little kids you are slightly embarrassed.  

5. Everyone needs friends like Alyssa and Dan.

I hadn't been skiing since about 8th grade. So I had a lot of relearning to do today. I was slow and awkward and slow. But Lyss and Dan waited with me the whole time and patiently taught me. They could've done probably twice as many runs and done way cooler stuff but instead they went slowly with me, encouraging, teaching, watching, laughing, helping. I had one of the best days today and it was a direct result of them. 

Almost there!

There has been question on my mind constantly for the past few weeks: Where to go, where to go, where to go?

Naturally, I first consulted Disney. 

The earth is cold, the fields are bare
The branches fold against the wind that's everywhere
The birds move on so they survive
When snow's so deep the bears all sleep to keep themselves alive
They do what they must for now and trust in their plan
If I trust in mine, somehow I might find who I am

But where do I go from here? 
So many voices ringing in my ear
Which is the voice that I was meant to hear?
How will I know where do I go from here?

My world has changed, and so have I
I've learned to choose and even learned to say good-bye 
The path ahead, so hard to see
It winds and bends, but where it ends depends on only me 
In my heart I don't feel part of so much I've known
Now it seems it's time to start a new life on my own 

But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear
Which is the voice I was meant to hear?
How will I know, where do I go from here?

And then I talked about and thought about and researched for a couple of weeks. I thought about location (and distance from home), price, quality of program, LDS population, diversity, weather. Oh yes, weather matters to a girl who loves the sunshine. 

And then I went to the temple and as is prone to happen in the temple all my jumbled crazy thoughts sorted themselves out into a peaceful and coherent thought and I knew the choice I had made was exactly right. 

And then I realized that I had chosen. That awful limbo time of life was done. I realized that I'm almost there and so I just had to sing some more Disney. 

Mama! I don't have time for dancing!
That's just gonna have to wait a while
Ain't got time for messing around
And it's not my style
This old town can slow you down
People taking the easy way
But I know exactly where I'm going
Getting closer and closer every day

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care
Trials and tribulations, I've had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now 'cause I'm almost there

I remember Daddy told me: "Fairytales can come true
You gotta make 'em happen, it all depends on you"
So I work real hard each and every day
Now things for sure are going my way
Just doing what I do
Look out boys, I'm coming through

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People gonna come here from everywhere
And I'm almost there
I'm almost there

There's been trials and tribulations
You know I've had my share
But I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
I'm almost there!

I still have a few more mountains to climb with finals and a river to cross with my summer but when school starts next year I'm proud to announce I will be starting the Masters program in Marriage and Family Therapy program at...... 

All is well.

BYU has a beautiful bell tower that plays Come, Come Ye Saints on the hour. I have slightly mixed feelings about hearing it because I know if I'm hearing it it generally means I'm going to be late to work or class. :) In all seriousness, I love hearing the bells chime through the air. 

"Come, come ye Saints. 

No toil nor labor fear. 

But with joy wend your way. 

Though hard to you this journey may appear,

grace shall be as your day."

As I hum along I love thinking to myself "All is well, All is well." Because typically all is well. And if I'm feeling like it's not, that little tune is a good reminder to stop, take a deep breath and reconsider my perspectives. 

Today though when I heard the bell tower (yes, I was late to class) my mind went instead to the second verse. 

"Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! All is well!"

Lately, I've been drowning in school, in work, in insomnia and fatigue, in a lack of motivation. Which really equates to a dreadful case of senioritis. I can't find the motivation to finish things lately and have no desire to do my homework. I just want to be done. 

Today though, the line "Why should we think to earn a great reward, if we now shun the fight?" really stood out to me. I cannot give up yet. How can I think of good things to come for this summer, for grad school if I'm not willing to work hard right now? 

I'm not going to say that I went straight to the library and finished my homework for the next week. Because I didn't. But I did work an 8 hour shift to help my boss with a crazy moving process. And I did get an awful 5 page paper done that had been hanging over my head for days.  And I did take a long relaxing shower. And I did feel much better about my day. 

It's 4 weeks until graduation. Just 28 days. That's not very long and it would be so easy to just give up and say C's get degrees. But I'm not going to. I'm going to work hard and finish strong. Because in the fight is where the real reward comes. 

One of those days...

Apparently yesterday was just one of those days.

Ask Alexa. Or ask Kylie.  Or ask Christine. Turns out they all had that kind of day too.

You know the kind of day I'm talking about.

It was the kind of day that starts out fine. A little sluggish maybe [Daylight Savings time is NOT my favorite thing.] But just fine. It's warm outside so all is well.

Exciting things happen - like your roommate opens her mission call to find she will be going to Hong Kong!

And good things happen - like you get to watch a movie for a class assignment with one of the most darling girls ever. 

And people are nice to you - like your other roommate loans you her umbrella so you don't get wet in the rain. 

But because it's that kind of day, all the little stressful things that have been building up all come to a breaking point.

It's the kind of day where the rain isn't renewing and cleansing but depressing and drowning. 

And there's just one too many things and you are just one hour too short on sleep to be able to handle it all.

So you have a breakdown in your car. You call home and your parents listen patiently and let you talk through your irrational thoughts even though they're already in bed.

You hang up and cry some more. It's the kind of day where you don't have just a few tears but a full on shaking sobbing kind of cry.

And then you start to pray. [Because really what else can you do when you are crying at 10:30 at night alone in your car?]

And then because it's one of those kind of days it starts out as an angry, complaining, hopeless prayer. Why can't I know what's happening in my future? Why don't I have time to all the things I want to do? Am I even doing the right things? Can I please not be alone anymore?

And then because Heavenly Father loves you, he reminds me softly and quietly that you are not alone. And that "thy God doth undertake To guide the future as He has the past." And that you shouldn't ask to see "the distant scene. One step enough for me."

And then your heart softens and your iPod reads your mind and plays some Taylor Swift. [I swear she has a song for every day of my life. And if not, it's coming on her next album.]



I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine
Baby tell me what more do I need
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly

I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world. Tomorrow's a mystery and you know what, that's OKAY. I had one of those days yesterday but at the end of the night I have parents who care about me, roommates who give me head scratches and back massages and share what they've learned about becoming. My paper will be turned in late. I didn't make it to the gym. I don't know what happens when I graduate in 35 days. But it's gonna turn out alright in the end.



And besides, today's a new day.

Sometimes I forget to take pictures...

I'm a pictureaholic. I LOVE pictures. About once a month I spend a couple hours just going through my But sometimes I'm having so much fun that I forget to stop and take a picture.

This weekend was one of those weekends. I had a million wonderful opportunities for a picture but I just forgot to snap even one. So you are going to have to use your imagination with me for a minute.

Picture a Friday night with one of your best friend's at his house with his family waiting him to announce which grad school he has chosen to attend. Picture a beautiful family with welcoming and kind smiles and sincere "how are yous?" Picture a spread of food so good you want three servings but you only let yourself have more apples. Picture adorable little girls running around having so much fun being cute as buttons. Picture the reaction when you find out he's chosen Harvard [fully funded]. Picture piling into the basement and watching BYU finally get the win they deserved over New Mexico [and watching Jimmer get 52 points. FIFTY TWO.]

Picture coming home and finding your roommates on the floor making prank calls. Picture dragging your mattresses into the living room and having a giant sleepover. Picture our faces watching and loving Footloose. Such a classic. Picture us sleeping in and waking up all groggy and disoriented in the morning.

Picture a Saturday morning filled with a good run at the gym and sore arms from good lifting. And then picture a sparkling clean apartment from cleaning checks.

Picture our apartment with a projector and a huge spread of food set up for the MWC Tournament Championship game of BYU v. SDSU. Picture leaving the game to watch Eva open her mission call and find out she is going to Korea! Picture the long hug I gave her when I realized she would be gone for 18  months and I wouldn't be able to get my Eva hugs.

Picture coming home and finding somewhere between 15-17 people in our apartment having a grand time. Picture our disappointment at the end of the game for our sad loss. Picture a game of cranium and watching the Prestige. Picture crawling into bed and sleeping like a rock.

Picture Christine walking into my room Sunday morning at 8:35 asking if I was going to wake up for church. Picture me muttering at Benjamin Franklin under my breath for his stupid Daylight Savings Time. Picture me getting ready in a whirlwind and racing to church, only missing the opening hymn. Picture me being fidgety and unable to focus for three hours of church. Picture us cleaning our apartment from the party leftovers. Picture our conversation about how glad we are that we hadn't had alcohol there for the mess sake and that we weren't hungover. Awful.

Picture a perfectly lovely Sunday afternoon and evening spent in Layton at Dan's house. Picture an incredible Sunday dinner of parmesan chicken, funeral potatoes, salad, corn and rolls. Picture chocolate cake to die for. Picture playing with the dog outside in the beautiful sunshine. Picture sitting on a swing not wanting to go inside because you can positively smell spring in the air. Picture talking with Lyss and Dan about finances and life and important stuff. Picture birthday presents and skyping family. Picture being given lots of food by generous generous parents.

Picture a girl who still has NO idea about what she is doing for spring and summer. Picture a girl who still hasn't picked a grad school yet. Picture a girl who is feeling calm and peaceful because she went to yoga and her homework is done. Picture a girl who is counting down the last 38 days to graduation. Picture a girl who is ever so happy about life. That's me tonight. :)

Skinny Dipping

Once upon a time I came back from the gym to find 3 cop cars parked outside of my apartment complex. This might not be a big deal except for the fact where I live in quiet Provo and rarely do I ever see the police except when they are writing someone a parking ticket.

I came inside to find 5 police men standing around our hot tub with one very wet man sitting on the edge. Upon consulting with the various onlookers I learned that he was high on some drugs and had been soaking in the hot tube naked.

But here's the best part. When I came inside I turned on my computer and went to read blog updates. One of the blogs I follow is 1000 Awesome Things and was the first post to come up in my feed. The title of today's post: "Skinny dipping somewhere you shouldn't be." Oh the irony. I just about died laughing.

Oh the adventures of living here. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

Other things of note:

If I had $1000 in my bank account I'd be leaving on a flight for London on Thursday afternoon. We were reminiscing and wanting to go back and looking up flights was the natural next step of that. And I'm not joking. If I'd had the money I'd be gone.

Clean room = Happy Rachel. Roommate who picks up the rest of the apartment = even happier Rachel.

Getting life back in order is awesome. I'd forgotten how great it is to be totally prepared for class the night before, have your homework done on time.

A certain individual in our department drives me crazy. She comes in at least once a week and yells at the department chair for at least two hours. No boundaries, no respect. I don't do super great with rude, ungrateful people.

Trying to do a renovation of a department in the middle of hiring and scholarships and the annual report means my boss is stressed out of her mind and so busy that sometimes she forgets to give me things to do. WORST.

I got a 100% on my first paper/exam for my capstone class. It's from my favorite teacher and my hardest class for sure this semester and I got it back and he told me I was an "exceptional writer". Exceptional. I don't know that I've ever been so happy about a paper!

UNLV is moving up toward first choice for grad school. We'll see what I decide. But it's today's winner. Don't get ahead of yourself though. It could change tomorrow.

I got to have dinner with Casey and Drew tonight. SO fun! I hadn't seen them since December and I sure missed them. We got to talk a lot.

Stand for the Family died tonight. We will have a few more activities for the year and then we're done. Lots of reasons, lots of emotions.

Yoga is my FAVORITE way to finish a workout. I love leaving with my mind clear and peaceful.

It's a BEAUTIFUL day...

I was walking in to work this morning and couldn't help but think to myself that today is a BEAUTIFUL day.


It's not because the sun is shining. Because it's actually cloudy and grey.

It's not because it's warm. Because the wind actually made it kinda chilly this morning.

It's not because the leaves are turning green. Because they aren't yet.

It's not because I was on time to work. Because I wasn't. But only by a few minutes.

It's not because I got enough sleep. Because I didn't. Sometimes going to bed just isn't the priority.

It's not because this is an easy week. Because I have a lot of papers and exams in the next few days.

It's not because I lost a shoe and had Prince Charming come to the rescue. Because I actually did lose my shoe crossing the street this morning, but there wasn't a boy in sight.



It's because spring is ALMOST here and you can positively smell it in the air.

It's because I thought about life as a worm today and decided I'm much happier as a Rachel.

It's because now that I'm mostly caught up with life, I can go back to the gym today!

It's because I'm wearing size 10 jeans!!!!!!!!!!!

It's because I have wonderful friends who fill my life with happiness and set incredible examples for me.

It's because I went bobsledding this weekend with two of my best friends and a new one.

It's because my parents are coming to visit soon! Groceries and hugs all around!

It's because I have a new commitment to be better. [CES Fireside - Elder Perry - Awesome].

It's because I graduate in 45 days. I can do that much more.

It's because even though I have no idea what is happening in my life I KNOW that Heavenly Father is listening and patiently guiding me.

That's why it's a beautiful day.

Hope your day is beautiful too!

BOBSLEDDING!!!

Do you remember when I said at the beginning of the winter that I wanted to take up a winter sport? 

I went to the Olympic website and considered my options from all the events that were competed in at the Vancouver Olympics and decided that I wanted to try bobsledding.  I decided that was utterly unrealistic and planned to go skiing. 

I still haven't made it skiing yet [though not for lack of trying] but this weekend I got the chance to actually go BOBSLEDDING!!

One of Dan's best friends from his mission [John] is a bobsled driver. He's awesome at it and offered to take Lyss and Dan. Lyss didn't want to go but they knew I'd love it and so they offered to let me come too. I was so excited and I am SO glad I went because off the top of my head I can't really think of a better weekend to have.

We drove up to Park City to the Olympic Park where we checked in and paid the fee to use the bobsled for the night. We waited for a truck to come and get us up to the top of the track. Once we unloaded the sled John showed us how we needed to sit in the sled and what would happen once we started. I learned where to brace my feet, where to hold on and to not accidently let my head hit him, because he would driving and it could make it so he wouldn't be able to see.

After a few minutes of waiting it was time to go. Dan went first. We owe a huge thank not only to John but to two of his teammates Phil and James, who were willing to come up and do extra work to push [because normally all four push] just so that we could have the experience.  So that's who you see, John is the very front, then Dan, then Phil and James.

Here's the time they got when Dan went down. Fastest and Slowest 50 seconds of your life. Seriously. 

After they went, we spent a few minutes waiting in a little hut warming up and for our turn on the track again. 

Then it was my turn! Here we are just starting to go. I had to hold myself up so that Phil would be able to jump in and put his legs down and I have a sweet bruise under my arm.

Then we were off! It was the most thrilling thing I've ever done. For the first curve or two it feels kinda like a rollercoaster. But then you get faster and the only thing you are aware of is the sound of the sled on the ice. A bump or two and it's over. But then you finally catch your breath and you feel your heart begin to race. Oh my goodness. I loved it. It was spectacular. 

For our last run John was going to take Dan again, and then me, if I'd liked my first. I definitely did and so for the last run James and Phil both pushed but only Phil rode so that both Dan and I could have a second run. 

I was a lot more aware the second time. There is so much force pushing on you as you go. It was such an amazing feeling. And again at the bottom there is just this strange but awesome sensation when your heart and your breath catch up to you. It's almost dizzying. Lyss caught this picture of us on our way, awesome, huh?

Really, I can't explain how much I loved it and how much fun I had. It really is probably one the all time most incredible experiences I've ever had. I also can't explain how grateful I am for John, Phil and James who did a lot of work to make it so Dan and I could ride. 

The rest of the weekend was also awesome. We went out to Main Street Pizza & Noodle for dinner and then watched Cool Runnings [of course] back to a house John's parent's have a timeshare at. 

I got to sleep in the loft room of the house and slept soundly til 9:30 when I got up & we got ready and went for some breakfast and to the Park City outlets. I didn't spend TOO much. :) I actually didn't and I got some much needed pieces for really good prices. I felt bad we dragged the boys around so much but they were very patient. :) 

We finished up singing along to a player piano in the house and then drove back the canyon for a peaceful end to an amazing weekend. 

Really, it doesn't get better than this. 

On My Mind...

This is one of the posts where you get a whole bunch of  things jumbled together. You'll probably wonder why they are all in one blog post because they lack any cohesion. There is no reason beyond the fact that my brain also lacks cohesion and so you get the random pieces of my thoughts right now.

Ready?

I love this blog - it's a bunch of yummy recipes but that are easy and reasonable. Sometimes I drool over food blogs but know that I will never bother to make what they do. Here, not so. Anyways, she's doing a cute giveaway right now... go check it out!

I love getting text messages [though text conversations - not so much my favorite]. My head says "Somebody loves me!" and I get all happy inside. Lately, though I get positively giddy when I get a text message. Because this is my text message ringtone:

It makes me laugh every single time. Ask my roommates. Every time.

Mostly I don't want to talk about it, but BYU Basketball is definitely on my mind. In my mind Wednesday's game was a combination of coming off of the San Diego win [just like last time], the emotional turmoil from learning that teammate Brandon Davies had been suspended for the season for an honor code violation, and poor reffing. We were off and UNM was on. I just hope with all my heart that this is not what is to come and instead was just that... an off night. However I want to comment on how the sports world is talking about us. Here's ESPN talking about the whether the Honor Code is unrealistic. Their conclusion. Nope. And I agree. I live it every day happily. I am not brainwashed into doing so - it's my choice of how I live my life. I knew exactly what would be expected of me when I came here and I signed my name that I would do so. Here's an article on ESPN on putting principle first - they are impressed. And another one on CBS, that shows just how much people like us. They might not understand but they respect it. I'm really impressed by the positive attention the media is giving.

I'm in love with BYU's male A Capella group Vocal Point. All of them. I would like to date them all. Well except the married one. But the other eight. Yes, please. We went to their concert last night. What a dream. This first video, Game Day, is hilariously awesome. If you like sports you will appreciate it. The second video, is one of my very favorite hymns.

I've been accepted to the University of Rochester [through the School of Medicine - yeah I'm rad] and to the University of Nevada Las Vegas. I'm an alternate at the University of Nebraska Lincoln. I technically have an interview still at Seattle Pacific in April but I may have already made choices by then. I have a lot of things to think about in the next few weeks.

I love the rain. I love the smell it leaves behind. Everything fresh and renewed. I am SO ready for the spring to come!! 16 days until the first day of Spring! 

48 days until Graduation. (7 weeks from yesterday). I'll stop pretending - I'm straight up counting. And so ready! My senioritis is almost unmanageable. I'm accepted to grad school which means I just need to graduate and C's get degrees, right? 

I'm a little bit Youtube happy today. Sorry! but Please watch this video:

Awesome, no? Even if you don't like Ke$ha it's pretty amusing. :)

Don't tell anyone. But I'm a little bit homesick. This will be the only semester of my entire college career that I haven't gone home for a weekend or something. And I miss my family. I'm a person who loves hugs and I've been a little short lately. I want my mom to wrap me me up and tell me I don't have to stress and I want my dad to tell me logically how to figure out my problems and then call me a brat. I want my brothers to squish me because they are almost bigger than me now. I want to see the baby calves that are being born. I want a dog under my hand. Even country music isn't helping this time. :( 

My roommate Andrea and I are like the same person. At least once a day we say the exact same thing at the exact same time. On Wednesday it was like 9 times. 

Every night after we have pillow talk my roommate Aubrey and I have a good night ritual. I say good night [nickname] and she says good night [nickname]. The funny thing is our nicknames for each other are getting significantly longer all the time. :)

My roommate Christine is my inspiration to get back onto being healthy. She is so good about exercising regularly and doing it because she LOVES it. The last month I was gone basically every weekend and sometimes in between and screwed up all my sleeping and eating schedules. I haven't been to the gym in a week. BLECK. I just want the healthy feeling that comes after a good run more than anything. I did some smart shopping this week and I will be back on track. 

And last...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."
~Mary Anne Radmacher
[Sent to me by Mom who saw it on Enjoying the Small Things]

Fabulous...

Welcome to Fabulous LAS VEGAS!!!!

Last Friday I had a grad school interview at the University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV). I left Thursday night and picked up my sister in Cedar City and after having dinner with her and her boyfriend (whom I think is great) we drove the rest of the way to Vegas. 

Thursday night we drove the Strip first thing as neither of us has ever been to Vegas. I've never seen so many lights in my life! 

Friday I interviewed all day. I liked UNLV. I didn't love it as much as I loved Nebraska but I could definitely go to school there. 

Then Friday night we went to Claim Jumper, watched the fountain show and saw the gardens at the Bellagio, walked through the Cosmopolitan and walked through the Tiffany Store. :) 

Saturday, Megan left early and I drove back so that I could miss the storm, which I did for the most part. I also made it back in time to see BYU's awesome game against San Diego. 

Saturday night was my regular movie night with Christine. This time was Life As We Know It. Absolutely fantastic. I LOVED it.