My family is...

Sometimes I remember why people make fun of my major. I think it might be related to the fact that I sometimes have drawing/coloring assignments for homework. Last week was one of those weeks.

For my Marriage and Family Therapy class we had the assignment to draw a family map. A family map is one method of gathering information about a family. It can be done by the family as a self-report method or used by the therapist to organize information gathered and observed. It can be simple with boxes and circles and lines or it can be a colorful drawing with an overreaching metaphor to describe the family system. It can also be a very therapeutic and/or potentially revealing exercise.

This is the second time I've done a family map. The first time was in an introductory family systems class. In that class I made the metaphor that my family was a library. This is what it looked like:

If you are really interested I'll explain but this is a little outdated. 

This time the metaphor I used was that my family is like a farm:
[Please don't judge my artwork - I can draw stick figures and sunshines - not 4-wheelers]

This is the paper I wrote to explain my metaphor:

My family is like a farm. We are all growing together. Each part of the farm is just as essential to the whole as each other just as we would be incomplete and find it hard to function without the other people in our family.

I am the sunshine (1) in my family. If you ask any one of my family members to describe me, they will include the word happy. I look for the positives and share that with the people around me. I am the oldest child and so I look over my siblings hence it is fitting I am at the top of the picture. Yellow is bright and cheery just as I am in my interactions with my family.

My sister is the wind (2). In this metaphor we are the two elemental items and in real life we identify well together. My sister is the wind because you never know what it will bring. Sometimes it is a cool gentle breeze that makes a hot day feel so much better. But sometimes it is a wicked wind that whips up out of nowhere and makes it hard to get things done. Also, the wind can be louder and faster than anything and Megan can out talk any of us in volume and speed.

My cousin Nicole is the girl sitting on the fence (3). A few years ago she would not have been included in a family map but she has lived with us for the past three years and will finish out her high school with our family. Nicole is on the fence because she and we don’t quite know where she should fit. She belongs in our family in many ways. We love her and treat her as one of our own. But do we call her daughter? What happens after high school? Does she want to focus on our family? There are unanswered questions that leave her as a fence sitter in our family. Her skirt is multicolored because that is her personality. She can be bright and full of life and she can be moody and sulky. Her relationship with Megan involves a lot of mirroring. Nicole’s relationship with Mom is ambivalent. They have the hardest time figuring out where they fit in together. Sometimes they get along great and sometimes they push against each other.

My brother, Karl, is the water (5) coming from the wheel line. We need Karl in our lives almost more than any other piece. Karl keeps us going. He cools us down when things get hot. He relieves us after a dry spell by giving hugs and by being willing to help. He mostly just rolls along amiably. The blue fits because he is our calming element.

My brother Luke is the 4-wheeler (6). He can go so much faster than the rest of us and tends to be a little dangerous. The 4-wheeler is so important for getting farm work done. It would be so much different without it. We did it before, but now that we have one we would never choose to go back. The 4-wheeler is also a toy and Luke loves to have fun and play games more than any of us. He is red because he has a touch of a temper that can flare up.

My dad is the alfalfa (4) growing. He is the foundation of our family and helps us understand what the point is. He helps us learn how to work hard and then after the work helps us learn to play which are the lessons we have learned by working in our own alfalfa field. Alfalfa is stubborn and always growing. You can plow it under and it will grow back and you can chop it off and take off the water and it will start to grow again immediately. My dad is always reaching for a goal and never gives up. Green is appropriate because he brings in the income for our family.

Mom is the farmer (7). She is what keeps everything organized and working the way it should. She makes sure we all get the things we need and at the right times. The whole farm would be pointless without her. Mom is wearing irrigation boots because she has to trudge through a lot of mud and muck to get things accomplished. Farmers don’t usually get paid very well and sometimes Mom’s work is underappreciated. Mom is in grey because she tends to be pessimistic and look negatively toward what is happening but she has an orange flower in her hat because sometimes she remembers just how beautiful life is and is so good at sharing that with the people around her.

My family lives on a farm so this is very realistic to our daily lives. We really are like a farm, each part dependent on the others. And together, we are growing toward our goals.