Bleck and Tomorrow

Do you know that feeling where life looks just looks foggy and gray? The one where you wish you were an ostrich and could just bury your head in the sand? The feeling like someone kicked a soccer ball into your stomach and you just can't quite catch your breath? Where you just want to get into the car and drive to Southern California and soak up the sunshine so that you can pretend like reality doesn't exist for a few minutes? Where you just want to cry and cry and cry so that maybe you will stop hurting so much?

I sometimes call that feeling bleck. And bleck is how I'm feeling today. My body aches. My emotions ache. I want to curl up in a ball. And everything is worse because I have don't really have a good reason to feel like this so I just feel silly. I'm an emotional wreck. Stressed and

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I started this post during the last few minutes of work this afternoon. Clearly I wasn't in the happiest mood. I was pretty miserable to be honest. I called home with the expectation that I would just vent and have a good cry and breakdown. But I was greeted with a giddy senior sister who had just been asked to prom. It's tomorrow and she was sure she wasn't going. She knew that it wouldn't matter even a few months from now but this week it was really stressful and disappointing for her. But a kind boy came to the house with a rose and asked her to go this afternoon. She was out of her mind excited and happy. She and Mom were going to go dress shopping real quick. I couldn't help but be so happy for her and it made me smile. She couldn't talk long... lots to do now. I was just thinking as I walked home and part way down the hill a little tune popped in my head. I started humming and before I knew it I realized that I was singing from Annie. The words were more than appropriate and absolutely changed my mood.

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You're only
A day
Away!

Seriously, how perfect - I had just finished describing my feeling as gray and foggy. And the things that are stressing me out and making my life so confusing are all things of tomorrow. I'm not going to explain a lot right now, suffice it to say my self worth, cannot hire you at this time email from efy, applying grad school, possibility of a mission and my lack of boys were all contributing factors. But the song reminded me that the sun will come out, that I can hang on til tomorrow. I really can't explain how much that reminder meant to me this afternoon and how much it changed my day.